Bailey has been apprised of Running Guy's situation, and asks him which erectile dysfunction drug he took. Running Guy denies taking anything. Bailey explains, as if to a five-year-old, that his condition is called priapism, usually brought on by the overuse of EDs. Running Guy denies it again. Bailey, getting aggravated, tells him that they'll just have to take his word for it, but they'll have to look for other causes. "There'll be lots of labs, lots of needles, and painful procedures. Procedures which might make you wish you never had a penis. You sure you don't want to change your story?" And Running Guy denies for the third time that he hasn't been popping the Cialis. Well, Jesus did say that the cock would not crow until Judas had denied him thrice. Bailey tells Mere to start his workup and get him some pain meds. "As of now, your...friend...is admitted." Mere looks like she could use a pain med or twelve of her own.
Addison informs Burke and McDreamy that they'll be helping with Dory's delivery. After some ribbing from both, Burke agrees to meet the mom after his surgery. Addison and McDreamy walk off towards Dory's room, and she tells him that she didn't hear him leave the hotel room this morning. Why are they staying in a hotel, pray tell? McDreamy says he had an early surgery. Addison pushes, "You sure? That's all?" McDreamy says yes, that's it, just an early surgery. They find Dory in her room, struggling to heave herself back onto the bed. McDreamy introduces himself, and Dory finds out they're married. "Oh, look at you two! Everyone must hate you." McDreamy and Addison, in unison: "You have no idea." Hee. Addison tells Dory that McDreamy is going to talk to her about Baby C, also known as Lucy. McDreamy explains that Lucy has hydrocephalus, which is a build-up of cerebrospinal fluid on the brain. If it's not fixed, it could result in brain damage. Dory is flabbergasted, but McDreamy says they caught it early enough that they can take care of it very easily, by installing a shunt to drain the fluid. I just want to say now how much I love the word "shunt." We should use it more often. Dory: "No brain damage?" McDreamy, kindly, hotly, madly: "No brain damage." Dory sighs in relief, all, "Okay, couldn't you have led with that?" Everyone laughs.
Cristina confronts Burke about her key. She holds it up in his face and asks, "Why?" Burke responds, "Why is it a key? Are we feeling existential this morning?" Aw, so nerdy. Cristina rolls her eyes. "Well, if a key turns in a lock and nobody asked for the key, or even wanted the key, does it make a sound?" Before he can answer, Mere interrupts, so Burke says he's going to take this opportunity to be someplace else.
Mere is freaking out. She tells Cris that Running Guy's labs came back clean, and so now someone needs to induce vasoconstriction. Cristina: "Oh, nice try with the fancy words. He needs an enema." Mere says she can't do it. Cristina says she ain't doing it. Mere promises to do all her enemas for a month if she'll just do this one. Cristina: "Wow, you really don't want to do this." Meredith looks absolutely unglued. It's awesome.
Annoying Pituitary Cyst Man's room. He yaps. I refuse to recap it. McDreamy tells him that he needs surgery to remove his cyst, which is congenital, and then he will be all better. APCM orders a milquetoast-looking guy sitting in the corner to look McDreamy up and check his credentials. Lord. Alex tells APCM that they need to stabilize his sodium levels first, which means no more water. APCM: "But I'm thirsty!" Alex says they'll hydrate him intravenously. The assistant goes to remove the water from the table. APCM: "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Assistant says it's the doctor's orders. APCM looks just as annoyed as I am right now.
Oh my God, they're playing the Lotion and the Basket song. If you haven't seen the video, please, I beg you to go watch it. As this little piece of musical brilliance plays, Running Guy tells Cristina he can't believe this is happening. Cristina acts entirely unsympathetic as she gives him the enema.
Song still playing. Alex fills out a chart near Nurse Olivia of the Syph. He's all, "Still not talking to me?" She replies, "You gave me syphilis! And I am talking to you, I just don't have anything to say." She asks how George is. Alex says he's a whiny fetus, then pisses her off by saying it's no big deal he didn't tell her about the syph. She jerks the chart from him and walks off. They're so about to do it, but not before Izzie walks up and tells Alex she's on the quints case. Alex says he heard. Izzie says they're going to need multiple surgeries once they're delivered, so she put him on the pager list. Alex is less than thrilled with this information, which Izzie automatically translates to their "technical difficulties." "Was it me? We seemed to be having a normal time." Alex assures her that it wasn't her; he was just tired, and didn't feel like it. Izzie asks him if he feels like doing it tonight. Alex says he's on call. Ugh! Izzie, not taking no for an answer, is all, "Oookay, so do you feel like doing it now?" She backs away with the bedroom eyes, and Alex looks like he just might feel like doing it now.
George slams into the stairwell and finds Meredith sitting on the steps all forlorn. He tells her he's got to find a way to get in on the quints case. Mere says she's guessing she doesn't stand a chance, since it's Addison's case. George blurts, "Penis!" Mere sighs, and wonders why every guy she meets comes with his own unique set of nightmarish humiliations. George stutters, "Maybe it's a, a m-matter of volume?" Mere's like, "Oh, so now I'm a slut?" George says he thinks she's taking some risks, and one day she might find herself in a hole in someone's basement. And just as the song says it, George says, "Being ordered to put the lotion on its skin, or else you'll get the hose again." Brilliant. George goes on to say that Mere deserves better than meaningless one-night stands. "And hey. Not every guy's a nightmare." He does not add, "Like, say, one George 'Manly' O'Malley," but I wish he would. Mere thinks this over as we go to commercials.
We come back to Alex and Izzie making out in one of the doctor's rooms. They're just getting to the good part when Izzie's pager goes off. Stupid quints!
Izzie walks into Dory's room to find that she's having contractions. "Where have you been?" barks Addison. Izzie: "I...uh...I? The nurse was here!" Heh. Addison says they're going to try to keep the babies in as long as possible. Dory knows that Addison is going to try Trendelenburg on her, and Addison is impressed with her knowledge. Dory says they did it with the triplets, so she's been through it before. Yet another reason not to want to try it again with two more, eh, Dory? Her husband looks concerned, but Dory assures him that they did it once, and they can do it again. Addison says that's all they can do for now, then asks Izzie if she's on call tonight. Izzie says no. Addison: "You are now." Izzie looks pleased in spite of herself.
Our next shot is from under Running