Cristina joins their table and announces that she wants to talk, "Because I care and I want to know things and I have fifteen minutes to hear about your feelings. So..." Four faces stare back at her, stunned, so she asks Alex why he looks thoughtful. He only replies by slurping his soda. She turns to Izzie, who informs her that she's worried about Alex because Ava keeps showing up, "Like something from Fatal Attraction. Alex defensively reminds everyone that she's not his girlfriend but Izzie won't let up and asks if they've had sex recently. Alex reminds them that she's married. That's not a "no," Alex. Cristina excitedly asks if it hurts him that she's married. "Does it hurt... your heart?" Man, she really is bad at this. Mere demands to know what's wrong with her and she pouts, "I'm TRYING to talk Girl." Izzie announces, "Well, ya coded! Right?" She laughs uproariously at her own joke while George snickers that in delivering that line, she herself was the one that coded. She's pissed off, once again, and stands up and yells that she cares about patients before storming away. Cristina wants the Sparkle Pager so that she can get on Hahn's surgery and she and Mere fight over it. Callie comes up and interrupts to ask if anyone ever thinks they're a couple. Without batting an eyelash Meredith responds, "No, because we screw boys like whores on tequila." Cristina adds, "Then we either try to marry them or drown ourselves." That sums it all up pretty nicely, I'd say. Cristina pulls Callie down and orders her to make Hahn let her scrub in or she'll make Callie move out. "Desperate times."
Anxious to display her awesome patient-care skillz, Izzie comes back to the couple who took the pregnancy test and happily announces that they are expecting. She hands over a giant box of prenatal vitamins and is too busy patting herself on the back for being kind to notice that they are horrified. The wife interrupts her to say that she needs to schedule an abortion immediately, while the husband whispers to her that he's sorry. Izzie quietly tells them they might want to think about this decision first but the wife explains that she's HIV+ and the condom broke, so there's no decision to make. Her husband explains that he's been tested and so far he's negative while Izzie continues to gape. The wife begs her to try and schedule the procedure for today, and Izzie goes off quietly agreeing to try.
Callie hovers nervously while Hahn finishes up a conversation and then comes over and blurts that she needs a favor: Putting Cristina on the surgery. Hahn smiles happily and says she'll do it if Callie buys that night's drinks at Joe's. Callie happily but nervously agrees and then runs away past a nurses' station. Addison is there doing paperwork, and sitting behind the desk is Izzie, morosely stuffing potato chips into her mouth. She tries to get Addie to talk to her patient but Addison reminds her that she doesn't work there and what's more, she's a doctor herself. Addie comments bitterly that if she did work there she'd be doing tons of surgeries and maybe even be dating her ex-husband, which she doesn't really want but which would be easier than dealing with her love life in L.A. Oh, if only I cared enough to watch her trials and tribulations in Southern California. Izzie tells her that her patient thinks she needs to abort her baby and for the sake of everyone viewing, Addison replies that she doesn't. Izzie knows this, but seems incapable of explaining that to her patient herself. Addison tells her that she needs to pull her face out of the potato chips and take care of her patients herself. She observes that Izzie used to be a fighter and asks what happened. "I lost a lot of fights," Izzie mopes. I would argue that there's been no fighting since Denny died, and that since then she's been an ineffectual, rude, self-centered blight on the hospital, but I guess she sees it differently. Addison orders her away and says, "Go. Be the change you want to see in the world." Confused, Izzie asks, "Did you just quote Gandhi to me?" Yes she did. All Angelenos do that.