Cristina runs down Alex in the hall and tries to talk him into trading surgeries, but he already knows what's up and thinks she just wants an easy case. Teddy walks up behind them and hears them arguing, so Cristina very maturely tries to tattle on him that he said her service is easy. This just leads to another conversation about Alex's less-than-stellar record which he again blames on "dud patients." He and Teddy walk in to meet their patient and lying in bed is the Six Million Dollar Man himself. I guess when he got all those bionic limbs they forgot to reinforce all of his aortic valves, so he now needs open heart surgery to fix one. Today, Col. Steve Austin is going as "Chuck." Chuck is sporting silk pajamas, like you do when you're in the hospital, and gets worried as Alex describes the surgery. It turns out, though, that he's less worried about the procedure than he is about the scar -- he is a playboy of the senior pool scene and he thinks once he has a scar the ladies will suddenly see him only as unhealthy and will also figure the sex will be bad. Alex tries to argue but Teddy cuts him off and tells Chuck that they will see what they can do.
Owen is sitting in the conference room, surrounded by work but instead clearly composing a saucy text message to his wife. It doesn't really count as not having an office if you just regularly set up shop in a conference room, Owen. If there is one room in which you always do your work and your things are spread out all over the table, that's pretty much an office. Derek comes in moaning about how much the residents suck and how good he had it with Meredith. Owen just asks him about expense reports and as they commiserate over their rough jobs, Mark comes in and throws down a container full of homemade ginger maple scones. He looks like that and can make ginger maple scones? Sign me up. They both turn down the baked goodies and then interrupt his describing how difficult they are to bake so that they can talk about manly things like building houses. Mark gets it; he's boring. He complains that Jackson is doing all of his surgeries so he has to cook to keep his mind sharp. Derek calls bullshit on this excuse, but then is pulled away when a nurse tells him that Lexie needs him. Mark then intimidates Owen into trying a scone.
Since she couldn't give the surgery away, Cristina is working with Callie on taking the old hardware out of Tyler's neck. Callie is using a giant drill and more elbow grease than any of the boys ever used on the deck. She explains that the next day Mark will take out all of the scar tissue and she and Cristina will put in a cage to keep everything in place until they give Tyler his new neck. She's excited, but Cristina is uncharacteristically nervous -- she doesn't want to use the force needed to really break stuff up with the drill, and asks Callie about the possibility of doing a fusion instead, pointing out that it's safer. Callie replies that Tyler has had four already, so now they want a long-term solution. She also points out that, "Only lame surgeons do fusions," and they aren't lame, they are badass. Cristina looks about as un-badass as she ever has, all nervous, but the conversation is broken up when her phone starts to ring with some loud, obnoxious techno music. Callie knows exactly what kind of text must be coming through and is disgusted that Cristina and Owen couldn't wait until surgery was over. As payback, she tries to get the nurse to read it out loud. As Callie and Cristina yell orders at her back and forth, the poor nurse looks like she's watching a ping-pong match and seems unsure of what to do. Cristina finally has her just turn the phone off. I believe this is the same nurse who taught Cristina how to do an appendectomy; I can't imagine Cristina is ever going to have any measure of respect from the woman ever again.