Cristina's interns are Smash and Heather, who are quick to act like they are friends already since she threw a vase of flowers at their heads. Cristina declares that most of the interns will not make it through the program, and she won't waste precious brain cells learning their names for at least a year. Instead, she gives them dwarf names: Happy (Smash) and Mousy (Heather). Damn, she is way more hardcore than me -- I only lasted five episodes before caving and learning at least a few of their names. She has them tell her about all of the patients and quickly goes about schooling them on the ways of the hospital. Smash is far too agreeable and gets downgraded to the name of Dopey, and Smash and Heather gripe that she is even worse than Medusa. Cristina warns them that she heard them but her face has a triumphant smile since she's already on her way to out-meaning Meredith.
Mere and Alex speak to Brian's parents in his room at the foot of his bed as if he can't hear them from a few feet away. They explain that they want to do a biopsy on the mass in his liver to see if it is cancer, but then choose their next words carefully since they have to tell Mom and Dad that Brian's symptoms could mean he's been using anabolic steroids. Brian does here this and erupts in furious denial but as "unprovoked aggression" is one of the symptoms, he's not helping his case. Dad says that he's not even an athlete, but Mom goes to her son and sits down on the bed, begging him to tell the truth. Finally, Brian cries that girls only like guys with crazy bodies, and he wanted to have a chance at a girl actually liking him. He claims he hasn't been taking them for long but his mom has a realization tells the doctors it's been two years. She cries that two years before, Brian's mood changed and he stopped being "[her] boy." The doctors aren't happy to have their suspicions confirmed and they look on sadly as Brian cries that he didn't know all this would happen. Steroids are bad, mmmkay?
Owen has the lucky task of monitoring the pit, so he asks Kate how things are going with Santa. When he hears that all of the lab tests came back clean, he orders Kate to "treat him and street him," since he's sure Santa is looking for drugs. Princess K is such a wondrous, big-hearted woman, though, that she thinks it could be something more. Owen dashes her optimistic spirit fairly gently as he says that's great that she's a nice person, but Santa has been coming in like this for years and she needs to move him on and clear the bed. She responds with a defeated sigh; seriously, all she has done since we met her is be sad that things aren't going her way and I'm tremendously bored of it already. When she walks back over, Santa has already guessed that he has to leave. She looks a while at his dirty hands and beard, though, and after a moment defiantly pulls the curtain back around the bed.