Mr. Herman is getting himself an ultrasound, with Addison on the business end of the wand. Bailey tells the three thieves not to think for a moment she condones stealing patients. "That said, way to go." Aw, she loves them! Mr. Herman says the first pregnancy test he took was a joke to make his wife laugh. Imagine their surprise. Addison tells Mr. Herman that he is in no way pregnant. Why, Mr. Herman wonders, were his pregnancy tests all positive, then? Bailey says that's what they're going to find out. She orders a shotgun workup for tumor markers, and a CT. An photographer has already found his way into the room, and is shooting pictures furiously. Mr. Herman nervously asks what they're for, again? Izzie answers, "Oh, medical journals, monthly case reports." Cristina tells it like it is: "Annual banquet highlight reels." They both lean in over the patient and smile broadly. Someone's pager goes off; it's Cristina's. She doesn't want to go, since she found Mr. Herman in the first place. Bailey baileys, "Oh, no. We don't ignore pages, Yang." Cristina leaves reluctantly, and Bailey measures Mr. Herman's abdomen. Meredith, sensing Mr. Herman's increasing discomfort, asks Bailey if they'll be through soon. The photographer just keeps snapping away.
Nurse Black Widow hands Cristina a huge stack of charts: a rectal exam, two infected wounds, a catheter, a groin abscess, four debridements, aaaand...a case of explosive diarrhea. Cristina's like, "You're kidding." The nurse says (humorlessly) that she's not known for her humor. Cristina argues that none of these are even her patients. The nurse says if she's Bailey's intern, then these are her patients. Cristina can't believe it, but that's really what she gets for being ugly to a nurse. My mother is a nurse (she's also an English teacher (education addiction (clearly not passed on to her eldest child))), so I have it on good authority that that is about the dumbest thing a doctor can do. Actually, do you even have to know a nurse to know that a little common courtesy will get you a lot further than disrespect? I do not think that you do. In sum: you made your own damn bed, Yang.
McDreamy is explaining to Nicole's parents how much better this operation would make her life. He says she could hang out with her friends, go to the beach, wear a bikini. Nicole's mother, who is repressed in the most awful of ways, responds, "Why would she need to wear a bikini? She doesn't even know how to swim!" One doesn't need to know how to swim in order to hang out on the beach looking hot, drinking beer, and getting skin cancer, MOM. Nicole's dad looks excited at the prospect of Nicole having friends her own age. Mom asks when Nicole will be back. McDreamy puts her off: "After her labs. Now just think about her future. Nicole could be independent. She could go to college anywhere, have a job, her own apartment." Mom doesn't care, and in fact is not even listening. "These labs are taking a long time." Dad is like, "She can be away from us for twenty minutes, psycho." Mom says she's just asking about her only child, who is still a child to her, and will always be her child. WE GET IT.