A young woman comes in looking for Derek, and when she says she has no appointment but asks to be shown where his office is, the nurse she's talking to is left open-mouthed with no good response. Mark speaks up that the last time someone came in without an appointment looking for Derek, Derek got shot. (Him and nearly 20 other people, but who's counting?) She squeals and hugs him; it turns out this is Derek's younger sister Amy, who seems quite sure of herself when she tells Mark that it's okay to say she's hot, since he is. Mark's choking on the word because he still sees her as 12 years old, but he's clearly thinking it. (After this episode, the first moment of Private Practice that taped before my DVR cut it off and IMDB both taught me that she is currently in Los Angeles and working with Addison.) She tells Mark she came to town because since getting shot Derek won't return any of her calls, so she brought him a gift! With a flourish, she turns and shows a pretty hot, Sam-Worthington-esque dude standing off to the side. Mere VOs, "Imagine how surprised and relieved we were when we grew up and found out there were others out there just as freaky as we were: same microscopes, same dead frogs, same inexplicable urge to take human beings apart." Mark asks, "You brought him Brett Favre?" Yes! That's totally it -- this guy looks like Brett and Sam's love child. Amy just laughs and says no, she brought him a brain tumor.
Arizona and Callie are taking a break so that Callie can moan about how movers are coming in two weeks, and she wants Cristina and Owen out of the apartment when she moves in. Callie points out that she can't very well talk to Cristina about it given her mental state, but Arizona is pretty adamant. I want them to move in together just so we don't have to watch any more of this crap. Give Arizona a sick kid to deal with, people! Teddy has been making coffee this whole time and they ask her if she'll say something to Owen, but they realize she's actually really upset and so the subject changes off of the move for a few blessed moments. It turns out that Perkins is leaving, and while she knew it was supposed to just be a fling, Teddy went and got attached. Callie is sympathetic and reminds her she was supposed to be all cool and G.I. Jane about it, and Teddy cries that she knows, but instead of G.I. Jane she became Attachment Barbie. Arizona gets up and gives her a hug but since she's now being written as selfish and tunnel-visioned, she jokes that what would make her feel better is telling Owen to get off his butt and, "Get his traumatized wife out of our apartment." She manages to get a laugh out of Teddy, which is good, but I don't think she's actually joking all that much.