Nikki screams. I guess it's a step up from her incessant jabbering. Dr. Callie Torres, who's the perpetrator of the pain, has popped her, uh, calf bone back into joint or something. Nikki wails that she never should have gotten out of bed, it's just that her boyfriend had something important to do today and she just wanted to go over and surprise him and wish him luck, you know? I hate Nikki so much. George walks in and asks Dr. Callie if he can give her a hand. Callie: "You missed the boat, George." She's obviously not talking about the leg boat: "A hot chick gives you her number, you're supposed to call." George says that he was going to, really. Nikki, who continues to never shut up, advises George not to give up -- not if he really likes her! Thankfully, Mere enters the room, causing George to leave and the conversation to be over. Callie tells Nikki that Mere's going to take her upstairs for a CT, but before she does, Callie has to ask: "You're bruised all up and down your leg. You sure a tree branch did all this to you?" With a maximum of talking, Nikki confesses that she wasn't actually standing under the tree when it was struck by lightning -- she was in it. You know, just looking over into her boyfriend's yard. I'm sorry, her "boyfriend's" yard. For his "dog." Because she really wanted it to be a "surprise." And the weird thing is, her boyfriend wasn't even there! She finishes by repeating, "I really shouldn't have gotten out of bed." No, and I'm not sure how you escaped from the restraints they had you in at the LOONY BIN.
Cristina runs into Burke elsewhere in the hospital, and says she's sorry about that valve replacement. Burke: "Thanks. Yeah, the laundry guy lost my caps." Aw, Burke. Cristina says that, surely, the guy didn't die just because of that. Burke's all, "Oh, no, I know that. I just prefer to operate wearing my own. It's a comfort thing. You know." Cristina says that she prefers having George out of their apartment, so she guesses they both have "comfort things." She "suddenly" remembers that she has one of Burke's caps in her locker: "But I think I'm gonna keep it hostage. So you kick Bambi out, and you get the cap back." Awesome. Burke says he doesn't do well with ultimatums. Cristina tells him to think of it more as a...trade.
Just as Cristina walks off, George appears to ask Burke if he needs any help with any cases. Burke says that, actually, he does, and ushers George into the privacy of the elevator: "Cristina has something of mine, and I need you to get it back."
Webber walks into Ollie's room and asks the young lady fussing over her to give them a minute alone. When she leaves, Ollie says, "She's my new baby. Six months sober, and already on the ninth step." Webber says that Ollie must be proud, and asks how long she's been on the transplant list. Ollie replies that it's been a couple of years. Webber removes his glasses in a gesture of seriousness and tells Ollie that the cirrhosis is preventing blood from flowing into her liver, which is backing up into her esophagus: "It's serious, Ollie." Ollie's like, "Duh. You don't puke blood unless it's serious. The question is, can you treat it?" Webber says maybe, surgically, but that they'll have to run more tests -- and that whatever they do is a stopgap, because she needs a new liver. Ollie: "Yet another reason I should have laid off the sauce." Mmm, sauce. There's an awkward moment of silence, after which Ollie is concerned that Webber looks scared. Webber says that he is scared. Ollie changes the subject: "Haven't seen you at a meeting in a while." Webber brushes this off, all, "Meeting? What meeting? How have you been?" Ollie reminds him that they're talking about him. Webber sits down on the bed: "Ellis Grey's daughter is working at the hospital. Ellis is in a nursing home with Alzheimer's. I try to go see her every chance I get." Ollie shakes her head in disbelief: "You're having an affair with the woman who drove you to your alcoholic bottom?" Hee. Webber insists that he and Ellis aren't having an affair; Ellis is sick. Ollie knows better, knows he's lying to his wife, as well as having an emotional affair with a dying woman: "And now you're lying to your sponsor about it!" Webber corrects, "You haven't been my sponsor in years." Ollie says that she still has the right to bust Webber's ass if she sees him slipping, which he might not be doing yet, but he sure is making a pretty big mess. Webber gets up and goes to stand by the window, his back to her. She asks how many years he has now. Webber: "Just past seventeen." Ollie says she's proud of him, adding, "And I'm scared, too." Webber turns to face Ollie and says, "You got me sober, Ollie. You walked me through it. And I'm gonna walk you through this." Even though this storyline is kind of silly, aw. Commercials.
When we return, George is rummaging through Cristina's locker for Burke's precious scrub cap. She busts him, of course. George says that he'll do the dishes for a month if she gives it to him. Cristina: "I don't do dishes." George: "I'll do the laundry." Cristina: "I don't do laundry." Ha! George says it's too bad Burke likes having him around more. Cristina: "Interesting, interesting. Are you having sex with him? No? Yeah, I think he likes having me around more." George, knowing he's defeated on this point, asks her what she wants for the cap. She wants him to leave. George brats that he's not leaving until Burke says he has to. Cristina says George is not getting the cap, then: "Now clean up my crap." George says he won't, and slams the locker door. That'll show her!
Bailey and Mere are looking at Annoying Nikki's scans. Her spleen is lacerated, unfortunately, from...falling out of a tree? Okay. Bailey would like to know why Nikki was climbing a tree in the first place. Mere says she thinks Nikki might be just a little bit of a stalker. "More of a gentle stalker than a kill-you-with-a-knife stalker," she adds. Bailey hopes Nikki lives to gently stalk another day. Let's hope she comes down with a wicked case of tongue paralysis. Mere asks Bailey whether she believes in this seven-fatality thing. Bailey: "I believe this girl needs her spleen removed. Now go pick up her labs and get her on the board!"
Denny's magical heart test. Izzie tells him it's almost over. Denny randomly asks her if she likes horses. Izzie says that everyone likes horses. Denny says that's not true, and that horses are a great judge of character -- they can sense you don't like them, and then they don't like you back. What the hell is he talking about? Alex hilariously interjects, "I've got an uncle that's a rodeo cowboy." This is the most surreal scene in the series. Burke tells Denny that his clot is large, and that he can't get it with the catheter: "I'm sorry. We're going to have to open your chest again." Toilet parking lot melting clock!
OCD Guy is OCDing bad as they prep him for his MRI. He explains that he was rear-ended because he was counting the clicks on his turn signal, and couldn't move his car until he hit three hundred thirty-three. The hospital psychologist is there assessing him. He asks when the OCD started. OCD Guy says he's had it all his life, but it didn't get bad until around when he turned thirty, when it ruined his marriage, and now he can't hold a job. Cristina asks him to move over onto the MRI machine, but he needs to know if it's clean first: "Is it clean, clean, clean?" Cristina's like, "We clean it between each patient?" The psychologist tells her OCD Guy needs her to say the actual words "clean, clean, clean." Cristina: "It's clean clern cl." Hee. As OCD Guy moves himself onto the machine, he intones, "Find a penny pick it up. Al