The doctors are finally figuring out what House has known for years: everybody lies. Meredith lies to Cristina about still being hot for McDreamy, and Cristina returns the favor by lying about moving in with Burke. Cristina also does a number of awesome things in this episode, like getting in McDreamy's face about the way his behavior is affecting Meredith; learning how to stop worrying and love the Burke; and totally beating Alex and George in a hot-dog eating contest inspired by a competitive eating patient. Unfortunately, the actual competitive eater has torn her esophagus by downing one too many wienies. Meanwhile, George bonds with a sassy elderly woman who refuses to leave the hospital even though she's been discharged, because she doesn't want to go live in a nursing home. Alex, after waiting nearly the entire hour to open the letter, finds out he's passed his boards. Bailey goes into pre-term labor and is put on bed rest, but not before she reminds the interns that she is still watching each and every one of them. And Fool and the Gang devise a way to get rid of their pesky dog -- by giving it to Addison and McDreamy.
Over a shot of McDreamy in surgery, Mere gets right to it with her voice-over: "As doctors, we're trained to be skeptical, because our patients lie to us all the time. The rule is, every patient is a liar until proven honest." Mere watches McDreamy work from the observation deck; she's alone until Cristina joins her, shooting her a knowing look. Mere asks Cris why she's not busy prepping for rounds and stealing all the good cases, to which Cristina responds with the same question. Mere shrugs. "No reason." Cristina clearly doesn't believe her, and walks over to sit next to her. MereVO: "Lying is bad, or so we're told. Constantly, from birth. Honesty is the best policy. The truth shall set you free. I chopped down the cherry tree. Whatever." Agreed. Mere confesses that she's waiting for McDreamy, because he's "doing [her] a favor." Cristina says she's avoiding Burke, because he thinks she moved in with him. Mere: "He thinks you moved in with him?" Cris: "You're calling him McDreamy again?" They have a little staring contest, then each sigh heavily. MereVO: "Lying is a necessity."
Cut to McDreamy taking a sample of Mere's blood. She thanks him for doing this, as they won't accept her mom into whatever trial she's entering without a full family history. McDreamy says he's happy to get her mom in, then stands up and leans in a little too close to Mere's face for my comfort. "All done. How's that feel?" he says dreamily, staring deep into her eyes, as she does the same. GAG. Don't get me wrong, I love these two together too (say that ten times fast), but this is more than enough. MereVO: "We lie to ourselves, because the truth? The truth freaking hurts." She jumps up and says it feels good. I'm sure.
Cristina and Mere pede-argue. Cristina can't believe she's calling him McDreamy again. Mere says it's nothing. Cristina: "What are you doing?" Mere: "What are YOU doing?" Cristina: "Stop repeating what I say!" Heh. They stop at the balcony overlooking the front door of the hospital, and see George and Izzie banging on the door, bad doggie in tow. George screams through the glass, "Cujo! HAS TO GO!" Cut to all of them, including the dog, in the locker room, where Izzie is informing Mere that the dog peed on her bed. George complains that they got him without even asking what he thought. Mere pleads with them to take pity on the poor thing. "He's our dog! We rescued him! Come on, you guys." George says he's putting his foot down; either the dog moves out, or he does. Mere looks at the dog, then George, clearly having trouble making up her mind. George is incredulous: "You hesitated! She hesitated!" Izzie: "You hesitated?" Mere says she was just thinking. George is all, "You have to think about it? Fine, I'm moving out right now!" He tries to storm out, but runs into Bailey, and turns right back around. "Later. I'm moving out later!" Aw, Georgie. Bailey, hugely pregnant, waddles in and looks around: "Tell me that is not a dog." All of the interns intone simultaneously, "S'not a dog." Before Bailey can order them around for the day, her pager goes off.