Bailey shows Yumi's coach what is causing her hiccups -- a tear in the lining of her esophagus, which they can fix surgically. Coach wants it to be after the competition today. Bailey isn't having any of it. She tells Coach that Yumi can't compete today, and if she enjoys the taste of solid food, she'll give up the sport for something a little less aggressive. "Say, boxing." Hee. Coach says he understands, and asks for some privacy for himself and Yumi. Outside, Bailey tells Alex to get a translator up here, to ensure that Yumi is getting the whole truth. No more watery hot dog buns for Yumi!
Cristina goes to check on Rick, and finds the entire cast of Rock Star in his room, smoking and laughing and -- yes, there's one guy with a guitar strapped to his back. Also, another guy twirling drumsticks. Jesus. Cristina tells them to put out their cigarettes and get out, because she has to prep Rick for surgery. The band and their hairdos leave reluctantly. When Cristina pulls Rick's sheet back, she finds a pack of smokes he's concealed in his gown. Rock stars are stupid. He tries to tell Cris that he totally wasn't going to smoke them, seriously, take them, et cetera. Cristina's like, "Whatever, do what you want." Rick realizes that Cristina doesn't think he's going to be able to quit. No, she doesn't. Who would, Rick?
George hears Sophie belting out another song from her room, and stops, all, "Oh, no." He walks in and she greets him warmly. "Irish! That nice lady doctor in gynecology said that since I had a hysterectomy back in '74, I don't have a uterus to prolapse." Poor George. Foiled again! Sophie says she has been feeling a bit feverish, however, which could be an indication of any number of awful diseases. George says he took her temp an hour ago, and it was normal. He apologizes to Sophie, but says she really has to go. Sophie: "I'm telling you. I'm warm." George sighs and places his hand on Sophie's forehead. Sophie closes her eyes, claps her hand on top of George's, and purrs, "That must be one hell of a dog." George is, of course, totally charmed and possibly in love with ol' Sophie.
Mere finds Burke to tell him that Happy Mirthington's tox screen came back negative, which she doesn't understand, because she was sure she was right. Burke suggests she adjust her worldview, as she now knows there are people out there who don't lie. Mere is still skeptical. Burke says the drug use would have explained the valve failure. He tells Mere to schedule Happy for her surgery. Mere says okay, and starts walking off. Burke blurts after her, "Do you want to come over for dinner?" Mere stops and turns around, all, "Huh? Why?" Burke says she's Cristina's best friend, and he wants her to feel welcome "to have friends at our home." Haaaa! At the word "our," Mere does a funny little hiccup and says, "So, she moved in with you?" Burke's like, "Yes, duh, didn't she tell you?" Mere lies that of course, of course she did, why wouldn't she, and how great is that? Burke agrees, it's pretty great. Aw.
Instead of Meredith, it's Cristina that McDreamy meets in the elevator this time. He says he just came from Rick's room, and he's convinced that he won't be able to quit smoking, with which she agreed. He wants her to go in there and tell him she was wrong. "Say whatever you need to say, but get him to believe that this is about you. Not him." Cristina crosses her arms and says fine, she will. McDreamy reminds Cris that he's her boss, and asks her what her problem is. Cristina tells him to shut up, he's not her boss right now. "We're in an elevator. That's your specialty, right? McDreamy moments in elevators?" Damn. McDreamy calls her "Dr. Yang," trying for the upper hand, but Cristina is on a roll. She tells him that just for a moment, she's not Dr. Yang, and he's not Dr. Shepherd. "You're the guy that screwed up my friend. The guy who drove her to get a dog she can't keep, a dog she only got because her boyfriend? Lied to her about his wife." McDreamy insists he never lied to her. Cristina says she knows a liar when she's sees one, 'cause she's a liar. "You want me to lie to the patient? Fine, I'll lie." She storms off the elevator, leaving McDreamy to stew in his lying liarface juices.
Alex brings the translator to Yumi's room, which is devoid of any competitive eaters or their coaches. He asks a nurse where the patient named Miyazaki is, and the overworked nurse says she left. She assumed someone else had done the paperwork, because they're short-staffed. Damn you, Webber!
Rick is kicking the shit out of a disobedient vending machine when Cristina finds him and demands to know what he's doing out of bed. He says he's got to get a candy bar. Cristina leads him back to his room, saying he's on morphine and about to have surgery. She apologizes for earlier, saying she was out of line. Rick says no, she actually got him to think. "I don't want to be a guy sitting in a bar with a stump for a hand, having a smoke ten years down the line, bragging about how I used to play better than Dave Navarro." Cristina understands that he doesn't want to be creepy, bitter guy. Not unlike Dave Navarro ten years down the line. Rick says the thing is, his last cigarette was this morning, but he didn't know it was going to be his last cigarette, if she gets his drift. Cut to Cristina standing outside with Rick, puffing away on his last cigarette. McDreamy catches them, but Cristina cares not. Commercials.
When we get back, Cristina and Meredith confront each other about their respective lying. They respectively continue to deny that: 1) Cristina is living with Burke, and 2) Mere is still in love with McDreamy. That went well.
George has Sophie out in the hallway, where he's conferring with another doctor. The doctor is incredulous: "West Nile Virus?" George is all, "Well, look at her! She's feverish! She's much weaker than she was this morning, she could be decompensating!" Sophie gives a wan little cough. Heh. The other doctor tells George that Sophie's been in the hospital for over a month, and he sure hasn't seen any mosquitoes lately. Sophie tries her hand: "Such a handsome young man. Those chocolatey eyes." The doctor informs her that to test for the virus, they'll have to do a spinal tap. The mission almost complete, Sophie bats her eyes and asks him, "Will you be doing it?" He folds, and wheels her off. Sophie calls after George, "Nice meeting you, Irish!" George smiles to himself, all atwitter.
Mere is scheduling Happy for surgery. She smiles a lot, again, and tells Mere what a gorgeous young woman she is. "Look at you!" She tells Mere she should smile more. Uh huh. Mere finds Happy's husband, Mr. Kline, outside the room and they make a little small talk. Mr. Kline finally confesses that Happy's, er, happiness really freaks him out. He thought at first it was just falling in love, and the wedding and everything, but he was kind of hoping the honeymoon would be over by now. Mere agrees that it's not normal. Mr. Kline whispers conspiratorially in Mere's ear, "NOBODY'S that HAPPY." Mere walks over and asks a nurse to run another tox screen on Happy. The nurse asks on whose orders. Mere: "Dr. Burke's, of course." Cut to Mere forging the order, and also Burke's signature. Good going, Little Miss "Everybody Lies."
Izzie awakens Bailey, who's napping in the on-call room, to tell her that Yumi is on her way back in: she collapsed at the competition, and is vomiting blood. Bailey sits upright. "Dayum fool. Probably tore her esophagus in two by now." She gets up, but nearly has to sit back down. Izzie asks if she's okay, and Bailey ignores this,