Izzie wants a real Thanksgiving dinner, and she wants it done right, damn it! Unfortunately, none of her friends will help her -- Mere has volunteered to work, George is hauled off by his kinfolk for their traditional Thanksgiving Day turkey-shootin' extravaganza, and Alex won't return her calls. Her savior soon arrives in the form of Burke, who turns out to be a great cook (his mother owns a restaurant in Alabama!), and guides Izzie through turkey surgery. Cristina mostly sits around and complains that there's no booze in the house, then makes her escape to the hospital. Meredith gets McDreamy -- who is also supposed to be home having sex with his wife for the first time since their split -- involved in the case of a man who's been in a vegetative state for seventeen years. The man wakes up, sees that his family has moved on, is sad, then dies in surgery. Whoops! George finally shoots himself a turkey, but before he can escape from his good ol' boy daddy and brothers, one of the brothers accidentally shoots Daddy in the ass. George is then forced to root around in his own father's posterior to retrieve the bullet. They bond, as you do. Meanwhile, Bailey is tormented by a visiting hotshot doctor, so she hatches a little plan to take him down a few notches...which works so beautifully there aren't words to describe it. Well, there are two: Happy Thanksgiving!
We open at Meredith's, on Thanksgiving morning. Meredith breaks the news to Izzie that she won't be able to help her with dinner, because she's going in to work. Izzie starts whining about it, but is interrupted by the doorbell. Mere opens it to find three strapping men in outdoorsy clothes. The big one asks if this is where "Georgie" lives. As soon as they have confirmed that this is, indeed, where Georgie lives, they shove Meredith out of the way, head up the stairs, and start chanting, "O'Malley! O'Malley! O! Mall! Ey!" Izzie: "Should I call the police?" Meredith seizes the commotion as her chance to escape, and runs off to work. Izzie yells after her that she better be back for dinner at six, and she means it.
George is in bed doing a funny little countdown, and as soon as he gets to "one," the door flies open. "O'MALLEY! Happy THANKSGIVIIIIIING!" Poor George.
Over on the ferryboat, Addison tells McDreamy that she was thinking they could...have sex tonight. McDreamy chokes on his coffee, then tosses his beautiful hair and regains his composure. Addison just thought it would be a good idea, because they haven't done it since all the cheating and the Meredith and whatnot. She says she has the day off, but McDreamy says he has to check on a few patients. Addison feels that they should just "rip the stitches" and get it over with. Well, that makes it sound extra-hot. McDreamy adds, "No anesthesia?" Addison says that's right, and asks what he thinks. He thinks this stupid ferry is totally messing up his hair.
Cut to the hospital. Bailey tells Mere that they're working with a temp attending today, so they need to get him oriented. She also thanks Mere for volunteering to come in, saving her from having to choose an intern to torture. Mere says she's happy to be tortured, and doesn't have whole hell of a lot to be thankful for. As they walk through the halls, Bailey tells Mere that too much family time at Thanksgiving makes people depressed, which leads to repressed childhood rage, bitter disputes over the remote control, and way too much alcohol. "People get stupid. People get hurt." Bailey is grinning from ear to ear by now. Mere asks why that's such a good thing. Bailey: "Surgeries, Grey! Lots and lots of surgeries. The stupidity of the human race, Grey. Be thankful for that."
McDreamy finds Webber looking at the board, and tells him he's supposed to be at home. Webber's like, "So are you." Then Burke walks out of surgery gloating about how he just performed the fastest procedure he's ever done. They rib each other over who can't function ten feet away from the hospital, and that they're all leaving very soon. Burke: "Say it like you mean it." Webber insists he knows how to have a life outside the hospital, really, he does! No one believes him.
Bailey introduces herself to "Dr. Kent" as the resident who'll be helping him out today. Kent, who is clearly so full of himself he floats, cuts Bailey off, and tells her he's only working here for one day -- he just wants to tell people what to do, they do it, and he doesn't like mistakes. "There's only one resident I want in my OR. Guy they call the Nazi. You heard of him?" Bailey gets the most beautiful look on her face, and sits there pretending like she herself isn't the Nazi that Kent's looking for. "The Nazi?" Kent says yes, everyone knows this guy, who has a stellar rep, and balls the size of Texas. Bailey: "That big? Sounds like an impressively talented man, this Nazi." Heeeee. Bailey continues, cool as a cucumber, "Never heard of him. But I'll be sure to keep an eye out." Kent says fine, and to page him if she gets confused. Oh, poor Kent, he is going down so hard. Mere tries to keep from laughing, and when Kent's gone, looks at Bailey in amazement. Bailey: "Like I said. The stupidity of the human race." I wish Bailey would marry me.
George is being physically pushed out of the house by the O'Malley gang. Izzie stops him and asks where the hell he's going. George says, in a giddy voice that makes me think they drugged him, "Every year? My father, my brothers, and I? Hunt, shoot, and kill a helpless, slow-moving turkey, isn't that great?" George's family confirm this by screaming "O'Malley!" again. Okay, that's getting old already. One of the brothers tells Izzie that this is going to be the year for George to kill his first turkey, and they'll have him home by dinnertime. Izzie starts screeching, "No, wait, you can't do this, who's gonna help me?" George turns and hisses at her, "Who's gonna help me?" Aw, Georgie.
Bailey and Meredith's first patient is a man named Holden McKee, who's been brought in from a nursing home. The nurse who gave George the syph tells us that he was a firefighter injured by falling debris, and has been in a persistent vegetative state for sixteen years. He fell from his bed while being turned by the orderlies, and now his insurance says he has to get checked out. Bailey asks Mere what her plan is; she says she'll repair his head laceration and get him a CT to rule out cerebral edema. Bailey tells her to get to it, and leaves. As Mere checks Holden out, she tells him she'd give anything for his kind of serenity. "Great. Now I'm jealous of vegetables. You just look so peaceful." Suddenly, Holden's eyes fly wide open and stare right at her. Not so peaceful now! Meredith screams, and we go to the credits.
We return to Bailey working on a burn victim. "Man tryin' to deep-fry a turkey. 'Course, he got drunk first." Meredith interrupts to say that her PVS case opened his eyes, and was looking at her. Bailey starts to respond, but Kent comes in to see if they've got anything good. Bailey moves swiftly in front of the deep-fried patient, and all, "Oh, nothing you'd want to waste time on, sir, but there are thirteen patients that need sutures." Kent tries to pass them off to Meredith, but Bailey says she's actually on her way to CT with a VIP patient. "On orders from the Nazi," adds our hero. Kent leaves reluctantly, and tells Bailey to tell the Nazi that he's looking for him. Bailey's like, "Oh, yes. Of course." She turns back to Mere and tells her to get a neuro consult for Mr. McKee, but she's pretty sure he wasn't looking at her. Then she gets ready to move her patient to surgery -- you know, the good one that Kent will be missing.
Cristina rings Meredith's doorbell, and orders Burke not to mention Shepherd. "Or Montgomery-Shepherd." Burke nods. "Or the fact that Shepherd is with Montgomery-Shepherd." Burke says he can do these things. "Or anything having to do with syphilis." Hee. Burke says he's been in social situations before, and can handle it. Izzie opens the door and immediately starts freaking out about having to do everything by herself, then stops when she notices Burke standing there. "Oh, hi, Dr. Burke! Hello!" Izzie invites them in, and Cristina hangs back, all mad: "I tried to blow him off, but he won't blow! He's like something sticky that won't blow off." Izzie wonders what she's supposed to talk to Dr. Burke about at Thanksgiving. Unfortunately for these two fools, Burke has better hearing than they think. He tells Izzie that people who are shocked when he shows up uninvited to their homes call him "Preston." Aw. Cristina can't believe everyone else is gone, and now it's just her, Izzie, and "PRESTON?" Izzie says yes, and Alex, when he shows up. She calls him and leaves a message asking where he is. Burke is like, "Is something burning?" Izzie: "Oh, God, YES!" She makes a run for the kitchen.
McDreamy finds Webber standing around the hospital again, and they both agree they're going home right this minute. Webber: "Adele's sister's in town. I hate that woman." McDreamy thinks the OR board might need to be checked one more time. Webber takes off, delighted. Mere walks over and uncomfortably tells McDreamy about her PVS case. McDreamy checks his chart and says he can be discharged. Not so fast, McDreamy! Meredith tells him about Holden opening h