Grey's Anatomy
The First Cut Is the Deepest

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Is That a Penis in Your Cooler, or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

In the OR, Meredith and Christina watch the surgery from afar and discuss how he beat up Allison. Bailey quizzes them about why they're not trying to reattach his penis. I guess, aside from the fact that he seems to have lost the privilege to own one, at this point. The tear from the teeth isn't a clean cut, so it makes it impossible to reattach. Meredith adds, "Besides, the digestive juices didn't leave much of the flesh to work with." My momentary hunger from earlier is now gone in a flash. Bailey asks what they do, and Cristina answers, "Sew him up, minus a large part of the family jewels." Bailey asks about his outlook. Meredith takes this one. "He'll be urinating out of a bag for a very, very long time." Cristina helpfully adds, "Not to mention he'll never be able to have sex again." They lament, and Bailey tells the room, "Let's all take a moment to grieve." And there you have it in a sentence, ladies and gents. That brilliant line and delivery embodies why I adore Dr. Bailey oh so much.

Richard comes out of another OR, and Burke is waiting for him. Making conversation, he mentions the rapist. Burke is there for another reason, and finally says, "Why." Richard makes sure he really wants to know, and Burke tells him, "I want to know when you stopped thinking of me as your number one." He begins to defend himself again by listing how much he does when Richard corrects him, "You only do as much as is necessary. You never take an extra step, you never give an extra minute. You're comfortable. And arrogant. And it doesn't impress me. You want to be chief? Earn it." So what he's saying, then, is that in terms of pieces of flair, Burke is only displaying the minimum number of buttons. Upon hearing this, Burke is entirely deflated. He sees Meredith come out of surgery with the rapist, and looks away.

McDreamy has his own troubles, and is clearly more bothered by Allison's plight than usual; he sits in her room next to her still form. Izzie rounds out the defeated bunch when Mrs. Lu finally gives up trying to get a message through to Izzie, thanks her, and leaves.

In the Hallway of Abandoned Beds and Dejected Interns, they all gather to bitch and moan about their respective days. George yells at them, "At least you're helping people!" He seems to be crushed by having to declare so many deaths that day. Alex, though, is jealous: "At least you're practicing freaking medicine." Izzie relays the story of Mrs. Lu, and Cristina is characteristically unsympathetic. Meredith arrives for the pity party holding the Telltale Cooler. She trumps them all by reporting that the cops aren't coming until the next day. "So I have to spend the night with a penis." Alex turns his head to look at her and she forbids him from saying anything. Shot down, he covers, "Oh, it was too easy, anyway." It's alarming to find out just how similar my sense of humor is to Alex's, it really is. George flops onto one of the beds and asks, "Who here feels like they have no idea what they're doing?" Everyone but Alex raises their hands dejectedly. George wants to actually learn something, Izzie wants sleep, and Cristina hates that it feels like it's them versus the Residents and Attendings who are actually surgeons. Alex sums it up with a concise "I hate being an intern." At that moment, Bailey walks in and finds all of them, and with one raise of her hands in the universal "What are you doing?" gesture, she scatters them. She steals a forgotten bag of chips and relaxes to munch.

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Grey's Anatomy

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