Meredith decides she's through with men, and to show her dedication, gives up drinking and takes up knitting and celibacy -- two great tastes that taste great together. She's going to need that drink soon, however, because Mere's dad and her half-sister and their super-close relationship show up to rub salt in all of her wounds. She takes her revenge with the help of a hammer and a plaster cast. Mere SMASH! Jackie from Roseanne appears as a terminal cancer patient who hasn't told her daughter she's dying, and Alex gets in trouble for using his special "bedside" "manner" on her. It works, though, and she comes clean to her daughter in a tearful scene. McDreamy's patient is a young spelling-bee contestant whose surgery goes wrong and causes Bailey to have a hysterical hormone-fueled freak-out. Everything turns out all right for both parties, of course, and Bailey gets her mojo back as a bonus. George gets his hair cut (finally!) by Callie, kisses her, and gets his ass kicked out of Burke's apartment. Burke's change of heart comes courtesy of a stark-naked Cristina standing in the middle of the apartment flashing him and Geroge, like nothing's ever been more natural. Cristina is appropriating Webber's "back to basics" plan for being a good surgeon here, which she learned in a refresher class she took with Webber, in which Webber literally did surgery with his eyes closed and made her look pretty dumb. Meanwhile, Izzie is all jealous of Callie, and tries to talk to Callie about her good friend George; Denny flirts big-time with Izzie and reveals his desire to get in her pants; and Chris O'Donnell shows up as a new love interest for Meredith. Hot vet!
We open in Joe's bar, where the TV is tuned to a basketball game. Meredith blah-blahs some voice-over stuff about basketball and the game of life, but I cannot possibly pay attention to that because we then pan over to Meredith, sitting on a barstool, doing some of the ugliest knitting I've ever seen in my life. Joe leans over to McDreamy, sitting behind her, and asks, "Is she knitting?" A good question, Joe. She says that she is, but it appears that she...is not. McDreamy slides over and tells her she looks a little weird. Joe claims she can't knit in a bar, and they urge her to have a drink. Mere, still furiously "knitting," says she can't have a drink; she's celibate. Drinking leads to celibacy, you see, and knitting is good for the celibate, so she's making a sweater. Oh, the poor sheep that gave their wool to this crafty abomination are going to be so sad. Mere says again that she's having no more men, and Addison scoots up next to her, all, "No more men? YOU?" Heh. She continues that every guy she meets turns out to be married, or Mark, or...George. McDreamy: "You're making a sweater." MereVO tells us that we play games to make life more interesting, or sometimes, to distract us from what's really going on, and from here we cut to...
…Izzie, lamenting to a recuperating Denny how Meredith broke George and ruined his life. Izzie is also knitting, but she's clearly totally awesome at it. Denny looks at her with interest as she segues into slamming Callie -- "What kind of name is that, anyway?" -- and then puts down a triple word score on the Scrabble board in front of them. Denny is not only feeling much better, he's horny as hell: "Sixty-nine points. I'm beating the pants off you! Pay attention!" Izzie says she's knitting a sweater; actually, she's knitting part of one for Meredith, because they took a celibacy vow, and she's replacing sex with knitting, because she broke George. Denny's head snaps around at this. "You took a vow of celibacy?" Izzie answers in the affirmative. Denny would like to know, please, how he's supposed to get in her pants now? Izzie sasses that that is a very inappropriate thing to say to your doctor. Denny says that she promised if he lived through this they'd have sex...in his head. Izzie pretends to be offended, but she's eating it up. Denny, sadly: "Don't worry. You weren't very good." Hee. Izzie says she was being nice and letting him win at Scrabble because he's all sick Mister Needs-A-New-Organ Guy, but now she's going to kick his ass. She glances at the board. "You put down 'mount'?" MereVO: "There are those of us who love to play games. Any game. And there are those of us who love to play a little too much." We cut to Cristina and Burke's, where they're in a heated game of Celebrity (Confidential to Sars: "LET'S PLAY CELEBRITY!" ["Quiet down!" -- Sars]) against Callie and George. George calls out "Disastrous FEMA director" to Callie. She takes it down to the buzzer and yells, "Michael Brown!" Cristina has some crazy competitive Manson Lamps going on. She pushes the clock and yells, "Time! TIME! TIME!!!!" George and Callie gloat while Cristina sulks and opens her clue ahead of time. They call her on it, and she's all, "It's called strategy." Heh. Burke says it's just a game, and she seems a little intense. Cristina says she's having fun, and she's ready. She makes a total "we got it" face, and hits Burke with the clue: "Blonde Ambition Tour." Burke has no idea. Cristina can't believe it. She jumps up and starts freaking out. "Blonde Ambition Tour! Vogue! She's blonde! And ambitious! With the...with the...cones! Boob cones! Vogueing!" Haaaaaa. Time runs out, and they don't get it. Poor Burke's all, "Oh, Madonna, riiiiight." Cristina is livid.
The next day in the observation room, Cristina wonders aloud to Mere and Izzie who the hell doesn't know Madonna. The whole point of games, she says, is that there's a winner. Who wants to settle for second best --- for mediocrity? Izzie and Mere are knitting -- well, one of them is "knitting" -- and nodding along as Cristina rants. She sits down heavily and says, "I've got to get George out of my apartment." Mere suggests that she sleep with him and then start crying in the middle. It's painful and embarrassing and cruel, but...it works. Izzie glares at her and tells her just to keep on knitting. "Kick him out so he can come back home to us." Cristina says she can't do it; he's Burke's puppy and it has to be his idea.
Burke is in surgery with Alex, and Alex is giving all the right answers. Then something goes wrong, and Alex comments, "Dude. She's toast." Burke reminds Alex that this is inappropriate even though the patient's asleep, and he needs to work on his bedside manner. Alex takes this about as seriously as you might imagine, and does a little eye-rolling for good measure.
Addison and McDreamy pedeconference about Doc, who is sick. Addie wants to know his symptoms, and what the treatment will be. McDreamy: "I'd considered running a course of IV antibiotics and a saline drip." Dumb Addison is all, "Seriously?" McDreamy says no, of course not, he took Doc to the vet, and Meredith's going to check on him later. Addie says she has to take care of a transfer from Mercy West, and they go their separate ways. Heh. "Seriously?" That was awesome.
Cristina is taking some sort of class. The instructor can't even get his first sentence out before she's got her hand in the air. "Cristina Yang, first-year surgical intern. I was wondering if you were going to be covering both intra- and extracorporeal knots in today's seminar." The instructor, already tired of her, says they'll be training in all aspects of laparoscopic general surgery. Webber strolls in and sits down next to Cristina, who is very surprised to see him there. He says it never hurts to take a refresher course, and it should be fun. Cristina nods, and immediately throws her hand in the air (then jumps up and down in her seat) to volunteer for their first exercise. Fun, indeed.
Addison's patient is Molly Thompson, 22 years old and 32 weeks pregnant, whose baby has been diagnosed with congenital diaphragmatic hernia. Molly tells Addison they hear she's the best. Molly's mom, who is being played by Mare Winningham, says she certainly hopes so, as Molly is her baby, carrying her grandchild. Molly: "Mom. You're kind of threatening the doctor. Don't threaten the doctor, it doesn't help." Mare says her husband has tried to tell her not to be such a mother lion all the time, but..."Roar." Addie just smiles serenely and says she can take it. "I am the best." Aw. She says the procedure won't be easy on Molly or the baby, but she has a strong record with this surgery. Addie hands the chart to George outside the room, and as they walk away, there stands...Meredith's daddy! He asks George if there's a Dr. Meredith Grey working today. George says yes, he can have someone page her if he wants. He doesn't want, but George looks up and realizes who he's talking to. "Sir, what's your name?" The man says his name is Thatcher Grey. And then! Mare comes out and tells Thatcher that they're right in this here room. They leave George to go check on their daughter. George looks through the window like, "Oh, SHIT." Credits.
McDreamy finds Bailey at the board and asks if she has an extra intern. Bailey says she's available. "Look at the board. My name isn't up there. It wasn't up there yesterday, and it won't be tomorrow. I pissed off the Chief...he's mommy-tracking me." McDreamy insists he's doing no such thing and she's freaking out, but Bailey knows better. She says she will not be mommy-tracked; she needs a surgery, and she needs one now. "So for today, I'm your intern." McDreamy gives her a look, and Bailey stares right back. "I have not yet begun to freak out." McDreamy tells her to follow him. Damn right.
Meanwhile, Izzie is now bitching to Meredith about Callie, and how weird she is, and how she's pro