Grey's Anatomy
The Self Destruct Button

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Life is hard. Let's go get a slushie.

It's time to check in with Alex, who seems to be admitting a man named "Digby" who has an appointment. He approaches Digby and notices that he's bleeding profusely from his arm. He takes a look and it appears that Digby's been shot. Alex goes into doctor mode and calls Cristina over, and they scramble to get Digby into the pit. Digby seems more than obliging, but he informs them that this isn't an emergency because his buddy shot him on purpose. "Why?" asks Cristina. "I like the scars," says Digby.

"Nobody knows where they might end up...nobody knows!" Sing it to me, you naughty interns on gurneys!

After the credits, we discover that Digby considers his gunshot wounds his "art" and that he doesn't mind that this last bullet went all the way through his arm and into his rib. Cristina's completely disgusted with him. Digby has an ethos: "Why do anything unless you're willing to go one step further than everybody else?" Alex and Digby chat with each other about pain and sports and they realize that they were both on wrestling teams in Iowa ages ago. Cristina grimaces that thinking of them in tights makes her want to puke, so she leaves to...go puke, I guess. Meanwhile, Mere is checking out Claire's abdomen and the girl seems to have a lot of sensitivity and pain. Mere asks her to lift her shirt so that she can examine her stomach and Claire reluctantly does so. She has four raised pink scars on her belly. Mere determines that Claire has had surgery recently and Claire begs her not to tell her parents.

George is on Kute Kiddie duty today. He's giving the once-over to an adorable little girl with a twitching foot. The parents got her a CT scan several months ago, which showed that their daughter has a minor brain abnormality, but since that time, the twitching has gotten a lot worse. George is pretty damn cute with the little girl as he tells the parents that he's going to go get Dr. Shepherd. "Is he good? This Dr. Shepherd?" asks the mother. "At just about everything," says George. "Including screwing the squinty-eyed goddess I lurve the most. But don't worry! I don't think he sleeps with EVERY woman he comes into contact with! Later!"

We check in with Izzie and Bailey and the Keys of Un-Breaking-Up. They're looking at the films of the keys lodged in the guy's esophagus. "I assume the lady needs her keys to leave this guy's sorry ass behind?" asks Bailey. Izzie says that she does. "Well, help her out!" responds Bailey, about to walk out and leave Izzie to it. Izzie's nervous because he needs a bronchoscopy and she's never done one. "See one, do one, teach one," says Bailey. "Alone?" Izzie asks. She's stunned. She blabbles at Bailey about her vote of confidence in her abilities and how she's worked so hard and blabbedy blabbedy boo. Bailey: "Izzie? Go." Hee. Meredith intercepts Bailey and tells her that she did all the tasks assigned to her, including checking on Claire. Unfortunately, Claire is suffering from a high fever and has peritoneal signs. Cristina shuffles by, and Bailey asks her if she's okay; she just says she's on her way back to the clinic and gives a wan thumbs up.

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Grey's Anatomy

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