Derek, meanwhile, is pissed that Meredith harshed his medical journal buzz, and gripes to Mark that he made the virus. Slumped over a computer, Mark tells him that no one cares about assists -- does anyone remember who assisted Michael Jordan? Duh, Derek and I both answer, Scottie Pippen. Mark insists Derek knows what he means, and then gripes about how women overthink everything. Derek stops thinking about himself long enough to notice that Mark is doing research on experimental treatments for cleft palates. He teases Mark about wanting his own clinical trial, and teases him that it would be a good thing since he's never made a worthwhile contribution to medicine. Mark banishes him from the room but as Derek leaves, he tells Mark to enrich his life and read Derek's article. Mark informs him, "I'm saving it for the bathroom." Ooh, and if he has some Jon Hamm's John Ham, then he's got a really nice little break for himself there.
Post-outburst, Lindsay is trying to explain herself to Cristina. It started as a fun, light office fling, but then one day she realized he was all she could think about and that she'd do anything for him, including give a kidney. Cristina asks her why and Lindsay defensively answers that she can help save Brian's life too. She's clearly intimidated by Mrs. Brian and explains that in giving a kidney, "... he'll finally have to choose. Her or me." She sounds really satisfied and confident about her plan, and Cristina just smiles with a little hint of sadness.
Callie tries to talk to Mark again, and sits down next to him with her lunch. She gripes that Hahn loved it and wants more, and Mark absentmindedly commiserates that it happens to him all the time: he barely remembers some women but their minds are blown. Callie asks if that's the sage advice he can give but he blusters that as an important doctor he has better things to do than give sex advice. She asks him what, and that's the last straw and he takes off despite her yelling that she needs his help.
In the cafeteria, the interns are all lined up with petrified looks on their faces as Cristina, Izzie and Alex discuss their strengths and weaknesses and decide who they're going to give up. Lexie seems as scared as the rest of them but is the only one to speak up, pointing out that they can hear everything the residents are saying. I think that's the point, Lexie. Besides, at least Cristina actually wants to keep her, saying that Lexipedia, "remembers things." And bathes, which is more than she can say for "Stinky Two." Lexie tells Stinky Two that they should leave, arguing that the residents will respect them more if they leave. S2 clearly doesn't believe it and tells Lex to go first. While they do this bizarre window shopping, the residents also talk about the kidney patients. There's been no word from UNOS, and Izzie comments that her guy really needs a kidney. Cristina points out that they all do, too distracted to be as mean as she could about a statement like that. Mere snips that she wouldn't give Derek a kidney, because he'd take all the credit and say he grew it himself. It's rare that I chuckle out loud when Meredith speaks, but that's what just happened. Izzie, not to be ignored, continues that her patient has been sick for 15 years AND also has to deal with a crappy kid. Yes, let's start ranking the suckiness of kidney failure, Izzie. S2 starts to put his tray down, but when Cristina yells at him he picks it back up immediately. She takes points off for lack of stamina, but Alex points out that he also follows directions, and he's back on Cristina's "maybe keep" list.