Richard examines his unconscious sexy zombie nurse and figures she needs stitches for a cut on her arm, so he sends a nurse to get a suture kit. But as he dabs at the wound he realizes it's not bleeding and then upon closer investigation realizes it's fake and pulls the entire thing off. He then investigates all of her horrible wounds and finds out they are all just part of her costume, much to his extreme disappointment.
A patient named Keith is brought in with plenty of actual injuries, accompanied by his friend Greg who is clutching one of the coveted TARDIS...es. TARDI? Well, he's got one, and he explains to the doctors that 500 people tried to get through a tiny door at once to claim the 15 that were available. His friend got knocked down and stampeded, and Jackson is horrified when he realizes that not only did Keith's ear get ripped off, but that no one thought this was an important detail to mention to the docs. Greg seems to think it wasn't important since they looked for it but didn't find it, and Keith seems not to care at all since they now have a TARDIS. Upon hearing this, Greg hugs the box a little closer to himself and corrects that, he got a TARDIS. I smell a nerd fight coming on.
Carter is now out of his hobbit gowns, and is so sad to hear that after surviving a stampede, all he gets to show for it is tape for his seven broken toes. Alex likes the guy so he promises to throw in crutches as well. Curiosity then gets the better of him and he asks Carter what he is supposed to be; Carter is surprised that Alex didn't recognize him to be a hobbit. He explains, "We're a gentle folk from a farming community called the Shire..." and continues on to say that they live a simple life but crave adventure and when they find it, some become heroes. He is certainly committed to being a hobbit. He is then overcome when he catches a glimpse of April and thinks she looks just like a princess from the A Song of Fire and Ice series. (Which I now know is what the series is called that contains Game of Thrones -- I don't have the advantage of having been sucked into that this year like I did with Dr. Who.) Alex is appalled and amused that Carter is lovestruck by April but Carter doesn't hear him; he can only dreamily gaze after her and softly say her name. Derek then calls Alex into the nearby trauma room.
He needs Alex to serve as some muscle since Greg and Keith are going at it about the rightful ownership of the TARDIS. Alex manages to pull Greg out of the room so that Mark can explain to Keith how they will make him a new ear out of cartilage from his ribs. Mark then pointedly asks Jackson if he has anything to add, knowing he does not, and Jackson uses all his self-control to remain polite when he replies. Derek has been checking Keith's legs at this time and asks what he's feeling. "Hurt? Betrayed?" Keith yells. I love Keith. Derek of course wasn't worried about his feelings over the loss of a small-scale time-traveling spaceship that's bigger on the inside but rather about the fact that Keith can't actually feel anything in his legs. He orders an MRI, and then leaves to answer a page.