We start (of course) with Mere's voice-over, as she lazes around in bed: "We live out our lives on the surgical unit, seven days a week, fourteen hours a day." And the remaining hours are spent drinking or screwing. She continues, "We're together more than we're apart." Mere sleepily opens her eyes and screams. That's because Izzie is looming over her with a mug in her hand. It's very Whatever Happened to Baby Jane. With no preamble, Izzie launches into Mere: "George's room is bigger than mine." Mere pulls herself out of bed and promptly falls on her face. Is she already drunk? Izzie follows Mere out of her room and down the hall, continuing her pitch for a bigger room, noting that she has more clothes than George and thus deserves the larger room, or at least the room with the larger closet. They pass George, who is valiantly guarding the door to his room against a potential Izzie invasion. George makes his case to protect his large closet, pointing out that he was the first to move into the house. Izzie blows him off by telling him that since it's Meredith's house, it should be Meredith's decision. George runs after the girls.
Meredith limps down the stairs, ignoring both of her girlfriends as they continue to fight about who has the bigger closet. I think we can all agree that George has the bigger closet. In voice-over, Mere notes that the first rule of life as an intern is "always keep score." Although there was a time when she was confused and thought the rule was "always keep scoring." But that comes later in the series.
Mere, with yapping bitches in tow, limps into the laundry room and sniffs around a basket for a clean pair of scrubs. The Mere VO continues to list the rules of intern life: "Number two -- do whatever you can to outsmart the other guy." While arguing, George and Izzie exposit that all of the other bedrooms and closets in the house are filled with boxes of stuff belonging to Mere's mother, precluding their use by anyone else. That causes George to wonder when the senior Dr. Grey is going to return to Seattle, and to ask whether they might not put some of her stuff in storage in order to make more room for the spoiled residents. Izzie suggests that they unpack Ellis's possessions and make use of them to make the house a little more homey.
By now, Mama Duck and her noisy little ducklings have gone back upstairs. Izzie reveals that she discovered a box full of tapes of Ellis performing surgery. Izzie and George forget their fight and get excited about the idea of watching the tapes, and George starts pestering Meredith about maybe, possibly watching them. Except that he wouldn't be able to watch the surgery -- instead, he would stealthily stare at Mere, sigh to himself about how unfair life is, and run out of the room every ten minutes. Izzie and George have followed Meredith to the door of the bathroom, which she promptly slams in their faces. And then she reopens the door, reaches out, and snatches Izzie's mug of coffee out of her hands. Mmmm, germy coffee. George leans in real close to the door and murmurs, "Meredith, you want some privacy?" On the other side of the door, Meredith slides to the floor and voices over, "Number three, don't make friends with the enemy." Credits?