Our second Patient As Lesson is a young boy named Jake with chronic headaches who has craniodiaphyseal dysplasia, or "lionitis." Ever see the movie Mask? Yeah. Jake has the same thing Rocky Dennis did. And, just like Rocky, Jake is sassy and sweet and when he catches Cristina kind of staring at him, he totally calls her on it. She can't stop looking at him, and not in a clinical way. He tells her to think of him as a lion and that'll make it easier for her to look at him. McDreamy asks Cristina to tell him what their immediate concerns are, and she tells him that they should be worried that the bones of Jake's skull are growing inward and encroaching on his brain. But none of that matters right now because we're about to meet McHottie O'Hotterson.
Mere's hanging out by a counter somewhere and up walks Eric Dane who, my sources tell me, used to act really, really badly on a little program about three bitchy witches. And saying someone acts badly on that show is like saying that Shaquille O'Neal has a lazy eye that everyone notices EXCEPT HIM. Aaaaanyway, Eric Dane walks right up to Mere as if he knows her and he reads over her shoulder as she's filling out paperwork on Bitter Dying Guy. He comments that BDG is a "goner" and Mere, instead of being like, uh, stop reading over my shoulder, you totally hot man, just says, "Insensitivity -- I like that in a stranger." She also likes leather and scruffy facial hair, which this dude has in spades. Mere stalks off and Eric Dane follows, babbling something about how the rain makes him want to stay in bed all day. "We just met and already you're talking about bed? Very subtle," she chastises, although it's clear that she thinks he's smoldering. Of course, he could be brandishing a pickaxe and dragging along the corpse of the last woman he killed and she'd probably still think he's smoldering. I'm just saying, if the guy looked like a Malvin, she'd have shoved him off by now, you know? But he's cute, therefore she's actually flirting with this total stranger.
As he asks her if she ever goes out with coworkers, we see Derek getting a glimpse of the action from inside an office and Addison getting her own glimpse as she comes up the hallway. Meredith lies that she makes it a rule not to date her coworkers and Dane smarms that it's a good thing he doesn't work here then. Ew. Bad lines only work from hot guys. To prove my point, Meredith grinningly asks if he's flirting with her in a hospital and he says that, duh, yeah, he is and George floppily watches all this from behind some blinds and Meredith actually holds out her hand to shake Dane's and WHAM! McDreamy decks him a solid right hook and then shakes the pain off his hand with a mild "Owwww." Hee. "What the hell was that?" asks Mere. "That was Mark," rasps McDreamy. Commercials.