Chief's Office of For God's Sake DIVORCE ALREADY Married Couples. Addison plops a bag of ice on Derek's hand as the Chief chews him out for punching someone on his surgical floor. He wants someone to tell him what the hell is going on and Derek shoots Addison a glance like, "Gone tell him, bizzotch." Addison grimaces and spits the story out piece by piece, obviously uncomfortable with having to tell her boss and friend that the guy Derek punched was the guy she cheated on Derek with. "We were all close friends," she says as Derek glares at her. "Until…Derek found us in bed together." The Chief leans down to Derek. "You put your weight behind it?" Heh. Derek says he did. "Well, all right then," says the Chief, and walks out. Heh heh. Derek asks Addison what the hell Mark is doing at their hospital, and she claims to have no idea.
"Derek and I always did have the same taste in women," says Mark as Mere treats his facial cut. What, did Derek hit him with his fraternity ring? Or does he have brass knuckles imbedded in his fists? That's a mighty big cut for a punch from a doctor who's probably never hit anything harder than a chest with a dead heart in it. When Mere is like, the huh? Mark says, "You're Derek's lusty intern, aren't you?" He heard about her all the way in New York. She says she heard about him all the way in Seattle, so they must have a lot in common. "We're the dirty mistresses," Mark sums up neatly. "I suppose we are," says Meredith. "My 400-dollar-an-hour shrink says it's because behind this rugged and confident exterior, I'm self-destructive and self-loathing to an almost pathological degree," he says. "Heeeey! We do have a lot in common!" snarks Mere. Heh.
As Mere continues to swab Mark's gaping facial wound, he mentions that when Derek caught him and Addie in bed together, he just walked out without a word. "But he catches me as much as talking to you," he says, "and I'm on the ground bleeding. Interesting, don't you think?" Yes, Mark. I think that's very interesting. I also think your facial hair is interesting, as is the mental picture I have running through my brain of you wearing nothing but your facial hair and a sexy smile. Very interesting, indeed. Mere goes to give him stitches and he's all, uh, hold the phone, sweetheart. I'll handle this. And then he proceeds to give himself stitches.
Outside the room, the rest of the Medicine Crüe watches as Mark stitches away at his face. "Why is he suturing his own face?" asks George. "To turn me on?" volleys Cristina. Heh. Alex pipes up that Mark is the go-to plastic surgeon on the East Coast and George gasps, "That's the guy Addison was sleeping with?" "Can't really blame her, can you?" interjects Izzie. "Noooo," says Cristina, mentally undressing Mark with her eyes and then making him do a rhinoplasty while she watches. Mere walks out and says that "McSexy" wants to get x-rays taken of his face and she thinks it's a bad idea for her to take him and George is all, why why why why why is it a bad idea notice me notice me notice me and everyone wisely ignores him and Alex runs off to take Mark to radiology. "'McSexy'?" queries Cristina. "No?" wonders Mere. "'McYummy'?" offers Izzie. "No," say Mere and Cristina in unison. Mere gets a flash of genius. "'McSteamy.'" "Ah!" says Izzie. "There it is!" says Cristina. The girls all turn to stare at McSteamy and George kind of hiccups and goes, "Oh! Excuse me. I'm just choking on some McVomit." Heeeee. I just realized that I recap the dialogue on this show more than I do on other shows, but it's because of scenes like this that I just have to. And typing out the lines doesn't really do them justice; it's all in the delivery, my friends.
A bit later, George is yammering on about how he saw Meredith first and how she's his his HIS and pressssscious and all that and Izzie's ignoring him as she blathers on about how you know how you don't have sex for a while and you kind of forget how awesome it is and you don't really need it as much? George looks over at her. "Yeah, that doesn't happen to guys." Heh. So true. Izzie says that sex is like this beast that was asleep for a really long time but now it's awake and it wants to be fed and the food that Alex was feeding it, well, it was prime fucking rib, dammit! And George strangles Izzie with the tie on the back of her surgical scrubs and tells her that they need to do something about her taste. Yes, George, you certainly do. You could start by getting her to go out with that sexy guy with the bum ticker. That'd do me juuuuust fine, thanks. Izzie thinks George is just jealous because his beast is asleep and George lamely argues that his beast never sleeps!