Grey's Anatomy

Episode Report Card
Erin: B- | 1 USERS: A+

Bitter Dying Guy's Room of Angst and Decades-Long Vitriol. Mere stops by to check on BDG and he's futzing with a camcorder. She asks if he needs a hand and he asks her to set up the tripod. She asks him what he's doing, and he says he's dying, so he wants to record some goodbye messages. She offers to hold the camera and gets him in frame for his first teary and loving adieu. "This is a message for Suzie Selman, my college sweetheart and the love of my life," he begins as plinky plunky music plays on the soundtrack. "Suzie, I loved you with my whole heart. And I never would've stopped loving you…if you hadn't been the vilest whore to walk the planet earth." Mere squints at him in alarm. BDG goes on to tell Suzie that she deserves that drunken asshole she slept with and then married and that her children are ugly and troll-like. "I am so deeply happy that I'll never have to see your face again," he concludes. Then, as an afterthought, "Love, Chuck." Nice. Meredith cocks an eyebrow and wonders why she's helping this misanthrope after all.

X-Ray Room of Hot Doctors and Hot Doctor Wannabes. Mark and Alex are looking at Mark's film while Alex butters him up about the great plastic surgery he's done. Mark asks if Alex is interested in plastics and Alex says hell yeah he is. Seriously, why wouldn't Alex be interested in something that gives women bigger boobs and less cellulite? Mark tells him to consider a transfer to New York or L.A. because he won't see any heat in Seattle. And that's when Alex mentions Jake and his lionitis. Mark practically drools in anticipation.

It's time for our third Patient as Lesson. Down in the ER, George and Izzie are receiving a female patient who's been brought in because witnesses thought they saw her having seizures after a minor car accident. The woman says that she doesn't think she needs to be there, and Izzie and George start asking her if she's prone to seizures or if she has epilepsy. "It's not epilepsy," says the woman. "Oh no. Oh god. It's happening again." And she starts moaning and groaning and emitting these little squeaky sounds and…we have orgasm, people! ["Again?" -- Sars] George and Izzie stand there with their jaws hanging open and looking like they've never seen someone spontaneously orgasm without the aid of battery-operated items. "Was that a --" says the paramedic. "Did she just have a --" says George. "Orgasm," gasps Izzie. Spontaneous Orgasm Girl just makes this fabulous "I'm so sorry I just came but I honestly can't help it" face, and we go to commercials so that we can smoke a cigarette and bask in the glow of total relaxation and bliss…

Addison's brought in to consult on the case. She asks Spontaneous Orgasm Girl how long this has been happening; she says it's been about a month and between seven and eight times a day, every day. "EVERY DAY?!" Izzie spews. Addie's like, chill, Sexalicious. Izzie quickly puts her doctor face back on. Addie asks why SOG hasn't been to a doctor about this and George is all, dude! Spontaneous orgasms aren't really something you want to cure! Addie once again has to curb the leg-humping interns. Suddenly, an older man shows up calling out a name and SOG is all, you called my FATHER? Since he was her emergency contact, yes, they called him. And she's like, DOES HE REALLY NEED TO BE HERE FOR THIS? He's concerned that she was in an accident and she says she's the one who caused the accident and he's like, because of your, um, and she saves him by saying that, yes, one of her "episodes" occurred. Speaking of episodes, she's about to have another one, right in front of her daddy. Good God. Her dad blabbles something about his daughter's academic standing at U-Dub as she writhes and moans on the bed. Addison speed-talks something about administering some tests on the girl in order to get to the bottom of her "episodes," and then she skitters out along with everyone else because things like orgasms and pee-pee embarrass professional doctors.

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Grey's Anatomy




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