Dave, having witnessed this scene, sees an opportunity to make himself a little extra dough, and knocks on Hunter's door. Dave offers up his services as a personal assistant, provided the pay is decent. "Well, let's see," says Hunter. "I pay my dog walker twenty bucks an hour, but you won't have to pick up poop, so, fifteen?" This seems to be fine with Dave, especially since carrying around baggies and picking up dog shit with your hands is not part of the job description. Hunter gives Dave some cash and a list of crap she needs. At this point, I'm wondering just when Dave's going to quit being the global errand boy around here. First Johnny, now Hunter? At least with Hunter, Dave's getting paid. But STILL.

Elsewhere on the set, Johnny's rambling around and Marcy meets up with him. She asks him if he's met Courtney's boyfriend yet. Johnny affirms that he has, but that he doesn't think Señor Stinky treats her right. Marcy observes that it sounds like Johnny's jealous. Johnny denies being jealous and calls Señor Stinky "conceited." "He's conceited?" Marcy asks incredulously. "Whatever." YAY! The first signs that Marcy's stepping aboard the "Johnny Sucks Express"!!! I'm so excited!

Just then, some scary woman with gloopy lips comes over and introduces herself to Johnny as Roberta Schrager from Teen Talk. Roberta goes off on some disclaimer jargon, basically saying that this is an essay contest, not a beauty contest and that Teen Talk doesn't discriminate based on race, sex, creed or bad hairstyles. Blah blah blah get-on-with-it-cakes. She finally introduces the essay winner and, lo and behold, IT'S A BOY. Johnny covers up his nipples with his palms and wonders where Scottie is so he can be beamed the hell out of there.

Meanwhile, in Hunter's trailer, Dave's receiving his "Honey-Do" list. After Hunter throws out command after command after hair-tinting, Dave takes a good look at Hunter's life and observes, "Your life seems like nothing but work and torture. Don't you ever take time out for yourself?" No, Dave. She doesn't have to. Do you know why? BECAUSE SHE'S A FUCKING TV STAR. She makes a fortune, lives in a hot pad, drives a wicked car, AND THIS IS THE PRICE SHE PAYS. Welcome to reality, Davey.