Courtney hustles and shoves Johnny out of the way enough times to win the game. Tori2 and the audience cheer. The Popular girls make fun of Johnny Loser.

Helena bursts into Hunter's trailer in a bronze mini-skirt and leopard-print scarf, yelling out her good news. Hunter is cold and terse. Helena wants to hire a publicist to play up the "mother-daughter angle." Hunter resorts to her old ways. She tells Helena that the network really doesn't like her and secretly thinks she's too old. She suggests Helena "go out on [her] own terms" and then pulls a check out of her pocket, saying it's more than enough for a down payment on a salon. Helena's not buying it, not even after Hunter busts out the fake hug. Pushing her daughter away with an icy smile, she says, "You ruined my career once twenty years ago. I'm not going to let you do it again. I'm not going anywhere, princess." Hunter is shocked into silence and the scene ends. Whoa! Shades of Dynasty! It's bitch against bitch in a cheesy catfight to the top.

Tori2 gets to stand on the beach holding a microphone while Courtney thanks "the Lord God Our Almighty Saviour" for giving her the strength to win the volleyball game. She then adds that her partner was "a joke" and that she pretty much had to carry him. Tori2 tries to lighten the mood, but Courtney goes on to quote her father, Sergeant Major Scott. Meanwhile, in the background, Dave is stripping off his costume and wearily crawling to the water. He flops face-first into the surf as everyone cheers. I guess there aren't any McDonald's hiring in LA.

Next week: Tori2 tries to get off the worst-dressed list, and Johnny embarks on a movie career.