Grosse Pointe
Mommie Dearest

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Gwen: D | Grade It Now!
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Hot For Teacher

All right, people, listen up. Your regular recapper, Regina, couldn't be with us today. I am your substitute recapper, Gwen. Please comport yourselves as you know Regina would want you to while she's out having her VCR exorcised. Thank you.

In his office, Rob's asking an older, cheaper woman if she's ready to read. She's wearing a tight salmon-pink t-shirt, matching snake-print pants, and a FUCKED UP fake pearl choker with some big black cameo thing hot-glued in the middle. She's ready. She stands, turning her back to Rob to mentally prepare herself. Turning back around, she says in a sultry, old-school-bombshell way, "Knock, knock. It's time to lock up. Sorry." Rob jumps up, says "Great!" and thanks her for coming in.

Out in the hall full of other auditioners, Hunter runs up in a nasty red tank top and asks the woman how she did. Pearl Necklace says she nailed it. "Great, Mom!" squeals Hunter. Then her mother reconsiders, wondering if she was too heavy on the "knock, knock." Hunter goes into Rob's office to find out.

Rob says Hunter's mom is too hot to play a custodian. Hunter tells him to schedule her at six AM, when she won't be hot. Rob isn't convinced. Hunter busts out the tears. "Please, Rob..." she quavers. "She's all I have." Yeah, that and your grody necklace from Avon. What -- is it genetic?

Back in the hall, Hunter quickly wipes her eyes before informing her mom that she got the part. "If I can stay sober for ninety days, I can do anything!" Mommie Skankiest avers. The two of them clasp hands joyfully.

After the credits, Dave and Johnny dig in at the craft services cart. Tori2 runs up and asks Johnny to guess who's hosting the WB Beach Party special. Johnny doesn't, uh, know. I'm having déjà vu. Will there be sushi? Tori2 is hosting. She points out that she and Johnny will get to spend a whole day at the beach together. Johnny wants to know who else is going. Will there be karaoke? Tori2 informs us all that Johnny and Courtney will play volleyball against "the girls from Popular." Johnny's indignant over the idea of himself "playing against chicks." Dave shows him the silver lining, saying, "In bikinis!" He's wearing a flesh-colored undershirt and also showing us what he's been doing at the gym lately. The guys high-five each other as Tori2 smiles in her cropped "Spirit of '76" top that's a little too Schoolhouse Rocky for me. Oh, hey, speaking of -- here's a little ditty for Tori2, sung to the tune of "The Nervous System":

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Grosse Pointe

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