Grosse Pointe
My Best Friend's Wedding

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Erin: C | Grade It Now!
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It's a nice day for a white wedding

Okay, so, this may be the shortest recap I've ever delivered. Why? Because I just returned home from the hospital, where I spent the major portion of the day sitting next to my poor Hank4 while doctors prodded and poked him, primarily because he had a temperature hovering right around the 105 degree marker which, really, means that he spent the major portion of the day wondering if he was just one step away from spontaneous human combustion, and the damn twelve-year-old interns spent the major portion of the day going, "Um. Wow. We're just absolutely baffled here." until I really wanted to spank each and every one of them with a spiked paddle until they cried out loud for their mommies, and I had to have Sandman bring Hank4 and me home to my apartment, even though I'm sure Hank4 would rather be at his own place around the corner, because I really don't want him to be alone right now and I want to take care of him, but I have to do this bloody recap and I'm already really late with it and I don't want Sars and Wing to fire my ass, so my sad, sickly ball of molten sweetness is out in the living room wrapped in three down comforters and wailing at me that the damn antibiotics for his eventually-diagnosed kidney infection aren't DOING A DAMN THING AND WHY IS JOHN TRAVOLTA ON THE TV AND HOW DO I CHANGE THE CHANNEL AND ARE YOU DONE YET?

So, you know, I'm in a bit of a muddle here.

Oh, and my VCR decided it just wouldn't tape this last episode so thneed, one of the GP posters, had to send me her copy just to save my sorry Irish ass. So, you know, thank you, thneed. Thank you from the bottom of my retarded little heart.

Ahem.

Okay, either Kev's fully come out of the gay PA closet or he's helping Dave rehearse a scene, because the show opens with Kev whispering, "What's the matter? You're not afraid to kiss me, are you?" Dave, stuttering, says, "I j-j-just d-d-don't want to kiss you in front of all these people, that's all. C-c-can't we do this in private?" Um, is Dave fully out of the stand-in closet? Wait. It's like I thought. Kev's helping Dave rehearse a scene for an audition. Dave tells Kev that his audition has to be perfect. Kev thinks that Dave just wants to get this part because he wants to kiss Marcy. Dave, who can clearly see that Kevin has missed taking his daily clue pill, tells him that he wants to get this part because, you know, HE WANTS TO GET JUST ONE PART. You know, BEFORE HE DIES?

Cut to Schmarce and Coco walking across the lot as the Barracuda pulls up in her convertible. Coco's wearing this really long sweater-coat thing and her hair's all pulled back and she's not wearing make-up and she looks -- well, she looks really cute and normal. FOR ONCE. Schmarce is showing off her flat-as-a-glass-of-three-day-old-champagne abs and has a knit hat shmooshed down on her head like she's some hippie gangsta-moll who happens to employ Peruvian natives to custom-make her hairwear. She still manages to look adorable, which is really pissing me off right now because I haven't had a chance to shower yet today and my hair is all greasy and pulled back into a haphazard ponytail and I've got my glasses on that Hank4 says make me look like a librarian and there's no way, absolutely NO WAY, I could ever manage to look cute when I look like this. That bitch.

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Grosse Pointe

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