Joan the Scary Network Executive bursts into Rob's office. "Did you see the numbers from last night? The 'Kim Dying' episode was the highest rated show ever. And I mean, EVER," she crows. "Hot dog!" says Rob, prompting me to wonder if he reads Archie comics in his spare time. "Did we beat Sabrina? "No," says Joan, putting a crimp in Rob's nuclear-war-shelter ideology. "But listen. Marcy's TVQ is up and over the moon right now, so we're thinking...maybe you should write her back in the show." Rob looks at Joan as if she's got horns and a tail and a pitchfork. "She's dead, Joan," Rob says, stating the bleeding obvious. "Don't you remember the flat-line at the hospital? The funeral? The pallbearers throwing shovels full of dirt on her grave?" "Oh, well, you'll figure something out," says Joan, in search of the nearest ass to grind into the ground. "That's why you get top dollar!" She exits, leaving Rob to ponder that whole suicide-scenario again. Luckily for Rob, he's working for the WB, where long-lost twins are a staple.
Cut to a scene they're shooting for the show-within-a-show. Becky, Brad, Stone, and Laura are all reminiscing about Kim. "God certainly has a sense of humor," says Laura. "You'd have to, to have that job," says Stone. Suddenly, there's a knock at the front door. Brad answers it. Outside is Schmarce in a bad Farrah Fawcett wig and hideous pimp-o-rama kind of fur-trimmed white vinyl coat, asking if Kim's there. "I'm her sister, Lynne," she says. "Well, she doesn't know that. We were separated at birth." Stone, Laura, and Becky gather around Brad at the door. Lynne continues, "The agency told me I could find her here. Well, are you gonna invite me in or not?"
Next week: or, should I say, tonight? Because, hopefully, this recap will get posted some time today and you'll all read this before the latest GP hilarity shows on the WB. Anyway, Sarah Michelle Gellar makes an appearance as Schmarce's yoga-class partner and agrees to show up on Grosse Pointe as a guest star. But...only if she can kiss Schmarce. Which, considering Schmarce's sexual track record, leads the Schmarce-ster to believe that she should think about experimenting...oh, God. You know what this means? This means that Hank4 is going to beg me for this videotape. Goddammit.