Grosse Pointe
Opposite Of Sex

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Jason who?

Back at the lot, Rob's exiting the offices as Schmarce scrambles up to him with her curlers in a twist. "Rob? I just heard this radio ad that said there's some phone line about Kim living or dying?" "I know, isn't it great?" Rob enthuses. "It's a new promotional tool." This, of course, leads Schmarce to believe that it's not real, and Rob propagates this misconception by telling her that it's just the wizards at the WB trying to get some eyeballs to tune in. Schmarce buys it and wants to know when she's coming out of her coma because, according to the New England Journal of Medicine, "the odds of a full recovery drop 6.8 percent every twelve hours starting the fourteenth day after the trauma occurs," as Schmarce informs us. By the way, I had to rewind this little one-second moment about thirty times just to get it right, and I did it because I just want everyone to know that I do, indeed, pay attention to every damn word and I didn't want to screw this line up. Rob tells Schmarce to relax and then says that he's writing in a new character; some brilliant neurosurgeon, "Dr. Evangaliste," who will apparently rescue Kim from the biting jaws of death. We all know this isn't true, but you gotta give Rob some credit for thinking on his feet. Even when thinking on his feet is pretty much just flat-out lying. Schmarce is all tingly and reassured. Stupid Schmarce.

The S.O.A. meeting has either ended or they're on break, because Q and Jason P. are standing at the snack table and people are wandering around in search of their libidos. Hairless picks up a cookie. "Oh. Ginger snaps. That'll cure me," he remarks. Jason P. tells him that at first, he fought this whole S.O.A. thing too, but he's realized that it's been the best thing that's ever happened to him. "Better than syndication? Ka-ching," quips Q. Jason P. is fed up. He gives Hairless the following questionnaire:

A) Are you unable to resist sexual advances or propositions?
B) Do you have sex with people with whom you normally wouldn't associate?
C) Do you feel the need to get away from your sexual partner following the encounter?

My answers? A) Are you nuts? I takes what I kin get; B) I used to, but now I only associate with Hank4 and Sandman so that pretty much rules out anyone else to associate with; and C) only when he starts up with the atomic farting.

Quentin's answers? A) Why would I?; B) You mean, women?; and C) Dude. I'm a guy. A good-looking celebrity guy. But look who I'm talking to.

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Grosse Pointe

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