Back at Grosse Pointe...
We're watching a "news program," with the guy who does the entertainment commentary for the WGN morning news acting as the "host." I'd tell you his name, but I can't remember it, and I just searched on the WGN morning news site and he's not even listed. I think it's "Sam Something," but I have no idea. He's interviewing Schmarce about the whole "Kim-in-a-coma" thing. "Now, Marcy," says Sam Something, "people can't stop talking about whether you should die...or not." "Well," says Schmarce, "first of all, it's my character 'Kim' that everyone's talking about. It's whether 'Kim' should die or not." Thanks for clearing that up for us, Schmarce. We retards out here actually CAN discern between you and your character, even if you can't. Schmarce goes on to say, "And she's not dying. Dr. Evangalitis graduated at the top of his class from Johns Hopkins." Okay. I'm pretty sure Rob said "Evangaliste" but, you know, whatever. "But," says Sam Something, "this has gotta be freaking you out a little bit." Schmarce pulls one of her "I'm really okay even though the tone of my voice would indicate otherwise" moments when she says, "No, I don't really pay that much attention to it. It's just a ratings gimmick, Sam. It's not real." "Marcy," says Sam Something, looking directly into the camera, "that's not what my source at 'The Frog' says. I have it under very good authority WB is going to go with whatever the viewers decide." Marcy spontaneously combusts.
On the set, Hairless is having his makeup touched up as he reads the S.O.A. book and fondles a rosary. "Let go, let God," he's intoning. "Easy does it. Just say 'no.' Don't cry over spilt milk. I am powerless over my own compulsion." Heh. Coco arrives, boobs bouncing. "Oh, hiya, Coco. Lookin' fi-- whoopsie," says Q, causing me to erupt in convulsive giggles. "Hey," says Coco, "I just wanted to thank you for introducing me to Jason. I didn't know you knew him." "Yeah, he's a friend of mine," says Q. "I mean, we're both friends of the same person. I know him, all right? Just...BACK OFF!" Heh again. Coco looks at him like he's the freak that he is. "Well, we're goin' out later and I just wanted to thank you," she says, walking off. Quentin suddenly realizes what this means and shouts after her, "Coco, NO! Don't do it! Please!" as Kevin comes up and tells Hairless he's wanted on the set.
Out on the lot, Hunter's slinking along as Johnny runs up, calling her name. "Bite me," she succinctly responds. Johnny tells her that he talked to his brother, and the pinball game is as good as fixed. Hunter doesn't respond. "Come on," Clueless pleads, "it was just a mistake." "Vietnam was a mistake. Zoe, Duncan, Jack and Jane was a mistake. Having a pinball drop out of my ass was no mistake," snaps Hunter, enlisting herself in my charter of personal heroes. Clueless claims that his bro needs this pinball machine to help him get back on his feet. Hunter thinks Johnny should just give his brother an allowance and be done with it. "His emotional feet," Clueless responds. "He needs a triumph right now. Life's been awfully tough on him, growing up in my shadow." "You should go lie down," retorts Hunter. "You just put together three human sentences." Wheee. Johnny stops. "You know what? Forget you. I'll just make Courtney's head bigger or something," says Johnny, knowing Hunter better then she knows herself. She whips around and tells him that she'll play him for it. If he wins, she'll sign off on it. If she wins, she gets his Hummer. "But, it's a hundred-thousand-dollar vehicle," he stammers. "How much is your brother worth?" she queries. "You're on," he says.