Grosse Pointe
Passion Fish

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Erin: A | Grade It Now!
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Pinch-hitting for the pink team

Okay, who was the marketing genius behind a double-whammy Grosse Pointe weekend? An episode on Friday night, another episode tonight...um, you know, I actually DO have a life, here. You think I WANT to spend my Sunday morning drinking Coke and eating leftover potato chips as I'm forced to sit in front of my computer and fondle the remote control? I mean, I like the show and all, but COME ON. I can tell you right now, I'm gonna take my own sweet time getting out the recap for tonight's show. One show per day. That's my limit. I mean it.

Okay...you know those WB promos where "Oh What a Night" plays as the nubile young thangs that grace the WB programming roster dance around and look all sexy an' stuff? Well, Buffy's in the middle of doing hers. The Barracuda comes up to some harried producer-type woman and bitches that the GP cast was supposed to go first. She listens as the woman tells her that they put SMG first because they had to get her back to BtVS. Hunter's disgusted with this response and shakes her hair extensions in wild abandon. Okay, so she doesn't do that, but I figured I had to mention the hair extensions because, well, they look pretty damn retarded.

Barracuda clip-clops over to Schmarce and says, "Crossover bitch," obviously referring to SMG. "If it weren't for me, she'd never even have a career." Schmarce looks as though she's heard this particular line of conversation before. As Hunter goes on to claim that BtVS was offered to her first but she turned it down because she didn't think it was a viable show idea, thus giving SMG her big break and relegating the Barracuda to the back-row ranks of B-list TV actresses with inflated egos and fragile self-esteems. Schmarce is all, "Whatever, psychobitch." "Oh, please," sneers Hunter, "look at those hair extensions." Schmarce sneaks a glance at Hunter. "Look. At. Yours," she says in a tone that suggests that not only are she and Hunter no longer friends, but also that Schmarce has taken a dip in the pool of enlightenment and now knows Hunter's true nature.

SMG wraps her segment and walks over to Hunter and Schmarce. "Oh my God, here she comes," spits Hunter. "Don't be nice." SMG comes up and what comes out of Hunter's mouth but, "Hi Sare." Yes. She says, "Sare." Like, she and SMG are such good buds that Hunter's in the group of people allowed to shorten SMG's name to one syllable. I don't think so. Turns out that Hunter needn't have worried about how nice or not she should be to SMG, because all of Buffy's attentions are centered on Schmarce. "I just wanted to tell you that...you're my hero," she shimmers at Schmarce. Yes. SMG actually shimmers. It would seem that SMG and Schmarce are in the same Ashtanga yoga class, and that SMG admires Schmarce's flexibility. I just bet she does. Hunter tries grabbing some SMG adoration for herself, only to be given the cold Buffy shoulder. Schmarce and SMG retreat to a couple of director's chairs to discuss their yoga class, bending over backwards, and the non-humanness of some Sri Lankan guy in the back row while the Barracuda stands nearby and wonders if there are any small woodland creatures around that she can torture in order to ease her pain.

After commercial, we learn that Rob's suffering from a severe case of writer's block. Kevin, whose job pretty much consists of running around like an idiot and trying to get actors to the set on time, steps up and suggests a Vertigo-inspired storyline involving Kim. He excitedly tells Rob the entire Vertigo plot as Rob looks decidedly disinterested. "You could do the same thing with Kim and Lynne on Grosse Pointe." "Yeah, yeah," Rob snidely remarks. "Maybe that worked in the fifties. Go grab me a turkey burger, will ya?" As Kev dejectedly walks away, Rob starts furiously typing.

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Grosse Pointe

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