Grosse Pointe
Passion Fish

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Erin: A | Grade It Now!
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Pinch-hitting for the pink team

After several cocktails and a few more advanced yoga moves, Schmarce and SMG stumble out of the bar, obviously tipsy. SMG's very happy to have made a new girlfriend and loops her hand through Schmarce's arm. "Yeah, well," says Marcy, "this is all so new to me. You know, I've never really thought about doing this before but, you're just so cool." "Thanks!" chirps SMG, completely unaware of what Schmarce is talking about. "I figured if I was going to do it with anyone, it might as well be with someone I admire, so..." Schmarce stops and looks at SMG, who's looking bemusedly at Schmarce. Then, oh Lord, Schmarce puts her hands on either side of SMG's face and lays one on her. SMG recoils in shock. "Whoa! Save it for the camera, okay?" she says, taking a few steps back. "I'm sorry," says Schmarce, confused. "I thought that's what you wanted." "What I WANT is an Emmy nomination!" says SMG. "And since it looks like I'm never getting one for Buffy, I just thought this kiss would give me a good shot!" There's some more back and forth between the two women as both try to explain that neither one of them is interested in women but that Schmarce thought SMG was and now SMG thinks Schmarce is and finally SMG leaves, telling Schmarce that she'll just see her in yoga. Damn. Isn't Schmarce EVER getting laid? And no, her vibrator doesn't count.

The next day, Schmarce is pouring herself a cup of coffee as Rob comes up and says, "What the hell happened with you and Sarah Michelle Gellar?" "Why?" says Schmarce skittishly, "what'd you hear?" Rob goes on to tell her that SMG pulled out of the show because she felt that under the circumstances, it might be "kinda weird." Rob wants to know what Schmarce said to SMG, but she'd really rather not talk about it. "Fine. I guess we're stuck with Tiffani-Amber Thiessen," says Rob. "Oh, it's not Tiffani-Amber anymore," Schmarce tells him. "It's just Tiffani Thiessen. "Oh!" shouts Rob. "Watch out world! She dropped her middle name! Her career is gonna skyrocket!" I think Rob's lost his nut. As he's busy taking a long walk on a short pier, Clueless pulls up next to Schmarce and asks her if she wants to have dinner that night. Oh, and bring along your new best lesbian friend, Buffy, while you're at it. Schmarce tells him that she and SMG are no longer friends. Clueless rethinks the dinner idea because it won't involve two women making out, and tells Schmarce he might have to work late so if she gets hungry, she should just grab something to eat. He drives off as Schmarce remembers why she stopped liking Johnny in the first place.

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Grosse Pointe

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