Grosse Pointe
Puppet Master

Episode Report Card
Erin: D | Grade It Now!
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Two angry women. Three tons of mud. Add water and stir.

Hunter jaywalks her booty-call of a butt over to Jonah and says, "So? How's the sexiest director in Hollywood doing?" My future husband David Fincher is doing just fine, thank you. I'll tell him you say hello. Jonah answers Hunter's question with, "Having fun...life is...uh...good." Now, if this little turd of a sentence weren't being spoken in a thinly veiled British accent, I'd have to go ballistic on its blatant moronic qualities. But I won't. Because I am a whore for accents. Plain and simple. Ask Hank4. He's sexy anyway, but when he launches into the William Wallace speech from Braveheart, I lose all self-control. By the time he makes it to the "From this day to that" part, his boxer shorts are hanging from the ceiling fan and I've got my tongue in his ear.

Hunter's in the process of telling Jonah that she's been trying to get Rob to hire Jonah for years when Courtney and Marcy run up to perform their fair share of boot-licking. Rob introduces them to Jonah, and Jonah gushes all over Courtney about how the fans love her in the chat rooms. Jonah fails to mention that "The Fans" also use handles like "CockMan" and "MuffDiver," and their favorite pastime is altering pictures of Jennifer Aniston and Sarah Michelle Gellar so that they look naked. But that's not important right now.

As Jonah talks to Courtney, Hunter runs her finger over her freshly glossed lips and tries to keep Jonah's attention by tilting her head so far over to the right that her ear touches her shoulder. She should have tried bending her legs behind her ears while not smudging her lipstick. That would have caught his eye.

Marcy hauls Courtney off to make-up, and Hunter and Jonah are alone. Together. With no one else around. Oh, except for Hunter's ASS, which I swear gets bigger with every damn episode. Or maybe it's these drugs..."Side effects may include: Objects on television screen appearing larger than they are in real life. WAY, WAY LARGER." Hunter continues her hopeless flirting, and she's kind of creeping the hell out of me. She asks Jonah out for a drink, and mercifully the credits come on. Of course, not before Hunter's gigazmo ASS makes another appearance.

After far too many commercials involving food (Hank4 is bringing over an extra bucket as we speak -- am I a dedicated recapper or WHAT? Oh, hell, I figured as long as I was throwing up anyway...), we're back at the show, and Courtney and Hunter are filming a bedroom scene. No, not THAT kind of bedroom scene. Get your minds out of the gutter. Well, actually, Hunter's wearing a silky negligee and some remarkably ugly knee socks, and Courtney's sporting a big ol' robe, a teensy tank top, and a pair of wittle weensy panties. Save for the goddamn argyle socks Hunter's got on, this could very easily be a scene from Sorority Suck Fest or something. So, go ahead, put your minds back in the gutter where they belong. It would seem that Grosse Pointe WANTS them there.

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Grosse Pointe

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