Grosse Pointe
Puppet Master

Episode Report Card
Erin: D | Grade It Now!
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Two angry women. Three tons of mud. Add water and stir.

In the scene, Laura's trying to tell Becky about her secret love-me-long-time thang with Stone. I can't stop concentrating on the socks. Hork. Laura then mentions something about Becky's trip to Norway. Hold on. Gimme the clue phone. Didn't they mention that Becky was going to Oslo? Isn't Oslo in Sweden? Or am I geographically impaired? Please tell me if I'm wrong. PLEASE. Hank4! Dammit! Get in here. Where the hell is Oslo? And take that fucking piece of pepperoni pizza out of your mouth! Or do you WANT me to blow stomach acid all over your nice Abercrombie & Finch blue flannel shirt? Oh, fucking fuck. I don't believe this. It IS in Norway. Shit. And I made some goddamn ABBA comment in the last recap. How dumb did I come off? Oh, man. Those bloody Nordic countries always bust a cap in my ass. Come on. They're all off over there somewhere, there's ice and snow and Björk and shit like that and GET ME SOME MORE MAALOX BEFORE I HEAVE ALL OVER YOUR SIDE OF THE BED, YOU PIZZA-EATING GEOGRAPHICAL GENIUS!

Hank4 apologizes for my behavior. I don't, but then I'm three shades of green right now, so it's excusable.

Back on Grosse Pointe, Rob's cell phone goes off in the middle of the scene, so Jonah cuts and approaches Courtney while Rob talks to some imaginary girl named Carla. Jonah tells Courtney that he doesn't understand what she's playing. Courtney tells him that she's pretending to be sad. Jonah says that he knows what she's supposed to be playing, he just doesn't know what the hell she IS playing. Courtney's confused. So am I. She nervously says that she thought she was supposed to be manipulating Becky. Jonah says, "Ah, well. Maybe next time you do that, you want to hold up a sign to let the audience know that. Because they're certainly not getting that from your performance." Ouch. Somebody get Courtney a Band-Aid. She's just been tagged. Hunter gloats as Jonah compliments her on her nice work. Yeah. Real nice work she did with those two short lines and those FUGLY socks.

The girls do the scene again, only to have Jonah angrily throw his headphones down and cut the scene abruptly. He launches over to Courtney and proceeds to totally berate her and belittle her in front of everyone, and then orders her back to her trailer to get the damn scene straight once and for all. At the craft services table, Rob's inhaling more baked goods as he spits venom into his cell phone. It would seem that Rob's imaginary girlfriend has just dropped his ass. Fortunately, Hairless is there to offer comfort, solace, and more seventies free-love vernacular. "Lady trouble?" he sympathetically asks. Ew. Rob says, "There's four months of my life I'll never get back. But, at least I learned SWING DANCING." BWA HA HA. Hairless tells Rob that he's got to get right back on that horse. "I mean no disrespect to your old lady by that, but there are a lot of fish in the sea. Go hook one. You get me?" Rob gets him, all right. He gets that Hairless should be sent to a camp for wayward Jim Morrison fanatics. Hairless comes up with the inspired idea of taking Rob out for a night on the town with the ladies. Why do I think Hairless has been watching one too many episodes of SNL with those two guys in the shiny suits and bad dance habits?

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Grosse Pointe

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