Inside Hunter's trailer, Dave's watching Schmarce on the telethon and laughing. Hunter enters and says, "It's so sad. She's practically Jerry Lewis." She grabs the remote and flicks off the TV. Dave walks over to Hunter as she's rummaging through the kitchen cabinets. "So," says Dave seductively, "you, uh, ready for your special GRANOLA?" Hunter steps back from the cabinets and says, "No ginseng tea." "I'll go get you some...after," says Dave, rubbing up against her. Hunter shoves him off and says, "You can't jump me every time I come into my trailer. And I especially asked you to get me my ginseng tea!" After thoroughly confusing Dave with a speech about her special tea and how it's not so much to ask for because it's not like he does anything around here all day and do you like my hair and do I look fat in these jeans and why don't you ever take out the damn garbage you lazy piece of shit, Dave just asks, "Why are you so...irritable?" "You try playing 'Becky' every day!" spits Hunter. "Forget it. Just...go out and get me a carrot beet juice with a wheatgrass chaser and try and change your clothes once in awhile! I am so sick of seeing that orange shirt EVERY DAY!" Wow. For someone who just wants casual, no-strings-attached sex, she's acting an awful lot like most of the married chicks I know. Hank4 looks at me in full appreciation. He's thinking, "Thank GOD we're not married." I wholeheartedly agree with him and make a mental note to say "HELL NO!" if he ever asks me to be his bride. Which he won't, praise Jesus.
Dave exits Hunter's trailer as Kev walks by. Kev asks if he's puttin' in a little "overtime." "Actually," says Dave, "I gotta go get Hunter some juice." "Juice," says Kev. "Niiiiiice." "No, dude," says Dave. "It's over." Kev asks what happened. "Who knows? She went all psycho on me," says Dave. "Oh, yeah," says Kev. "Who woulda seen that comin'?" Heh.
Over at Judaism central, Schmarce wraps up her Shalom House segment as a group of dancers in yarmulkes swirl around her. She's about to leave when one of the guys manning the phone bank stops her. He tells her that he's a big fan of hers, and that his name is Eli Goldberg and he's an ICM agent. "I won't hold it against you," blushes Schmarce. Eli thinks it's cool that she's doing this telethon, because so many Jewish actors are shy about the whole religion thing. Schmarce says that it's important to own one's heritage. Yeah, especially when it might get you laid. Embracing my lapsed Catholicism never got me a roll in the hay, but then, I guess the whole "burning in hell for eternity" thing gets in the way of a decent round of boinking. Eli tells Schmarce that he's smitten with her and asks her out for a drink, which she accepts.













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