Grosse Pointe
Star Wars

Episode Report Card
Erin: B | Grade It Now!
If you can't cut the mustard, at least cut the cheese

Later, on the set, Courtney greets her future beer employers and her overdressed agent. It would seem that Court got the script but it's in Japanese. Of course, since Court's about as intelligent as a Frosted Flake, it hasn't occurred to her to pick up a Japanese-to-English translation book and figure it out for herself, so she doesn't understand a word of the script, and she doesn't get a chance to find out what it means because Kevin comes up and calls her away to wardrobe. Her agent asks the Japanese guys what the script says. The Japanese business man, whom we'll call "Bob-san" because I'm too lazy to keep typing out his real name, tells the agent that it means, "Big Breasts loves Sabijiko beer." Bob-san goes on to tell the agent that Courtney is known as "Big Breasts" in Japan, and that she's very popular.

Over by Rob's favorite location, a.k.a. the craft services table, Dave confronts Rob about something that Fancy told him. Namely, that Rob said Dave was good in the audition but that he wasn't sexy enough. Rob hotly denies having said this and goes on to say that the network totally pressured him to go with this guy they had a deal with. "So," says Dave, "you didn't say you felt I wasn't 'network sexy' and that I was more 'alternative sexy'? Because I look totally different with my hair flat. Check it out." Dave then begins to flatten his hair in a really adorable way, and I'm left wondering just what he would look like if he had hair that didn't stick up in fourteen different directions. Rob says he's waaaaaay too busy writing to worry about what kind of sexy people are and then beats a fast retreat. What, he's too busy writing lines about chaos theory and long bus rides home? Please.

Courtney's in wardrobe when her agent enters, looking for all the world like an extremely unsuccessful and fashion-impaired drag queen. Court asks the agent what Bob-san said about the meaning of the script. The agent sneakily tells Court that it's her nickname, "Ms. Popularity." Court says, "Won't saying that make me sound conceited?" No, Court. You handled that whole "conceited" issue when you announced to the make-up trailer that they love you over in Japan.

Marcy and Dave are traversing the lot as Schmarce tells Dave that she's really sorry he didn't get the part and wishes he were playing Dustin, because she'd much rather be kissing Dave than kissing some strange guy. No, I'm not making this up. This piques Dave's interest and he prompts Schmarce to talk to Rob about it. Before he can finish his sentence, however, Schmarce's attention gets drawn to Meat, who's loitering around on the lot trying to figure out how his thumbs work. "Who is that?" Schmarce gasps, her nipples coming to attention. Meat approaches and introduces himself as Marcy's "secret love," then puts a finger to his lips and says, "Shhh." Gross. Or should I say, "Grosse." After ignoring an introduction to Dave, Meat walks off to wardrobe, leaving Marcy to tell Dave that she thinks Meat is sexy. She then skitters after Meat, offering to show him the way to her g-spot. Dave stands alone. Sort of like the cheese. But without the lactose-intolerance issues.

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Grosse Pointe




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