In Hunter's trailer, Dave's standing around waiting for Hunter to stop talking about herself as Hunter gets out of the shower. She's bitching about how just because she asked Rob to give Dave a part on the show, Rob cut her out of this week's episode. But thank God she has a personal life. "Take your pants off. I don't want to think right now." Heh. Dave tells Hunter that they should talk. "Blah blah blah. All you ever want to do is talk. It's like having a relationship with a girl," says Hunter. Hank4 shoots me a look, which I ignore because, quite frankly, I'm not nearly as chatty as other girls and he knows it. I also don't like to be held for hours after sex. Creeps me out. Sex, cuddle, roll. That's my credo. As I pretend not to see Hank4's glance, Dave's telling Hunter that he can't do this anymore. "You've been so good to me," he says. "And I really...I don't deserve you." The hell he doesn't! If he can't get his shit together and ask Schmarcy out, then he deserves every last BIT of the Barracuda. Dave then holds out the Porsche keys and states that he hopes they can be friends. Hunter, who apparently has been studying at the same diva finishing school as Barbra Streisand and Jennifer Lopez, goes off on quite a little tirade about how Dave's nothing and she's a big star and how she can't BELIEVE HE'S BREAKING UP WITH HER. "I'm famous," she screams, "I'm beautiful. I'm on THERMOSES!!" So was Shirley Partridge, Huntley. Don't bank on that whole thermos thing. Dave insists that it's not working out. Hunter agrees. Well, she doesn't really agree. She throws a coffee mug at his head. Dave gets the hell out.
Later on, Rob's visiting the hot dog stand for his half-hour feeding. Hunter walks up and tells Rob to fire Dave, basically threatening Rob with her potential departure if he doesn't do it. Rob tells her to go fuck her snotty self. Oh, I mean, he walks over to where Dave's sitting on a fence and fires his ass.
After the commercials, Clueless runs up to Courtney and asks her for help with the whole crying thing. She tells him to think of something sad that's happened to him. "Something sad," he repeats dumbly. "Cool." Coco rolls her eyes and leaves as Clueless suddenly realizes that nothing sad has ever happened to him. I wonder why we're even bothering with Clueless and his dumb-ass crying problem. Maybe viewers have been requesting more shots of Al Santos's butt or something.
Later on, Coco and Kristin are waiting to shoot the next scene. Kristin asks Coco about Rob and talks about how she thought he was gay because most of the guys who liked Melrose Place were, which isn't really true because I hung out with a bunch of guys, all straight, who loved Melrose Place and with whom I would watch it every Wednesday night at the bar across the street as we played Melrose Place drinking games and got so sloppy drunk that we usually wound up throwing tequila-soaked limes at the screen every time Billy showed up without a belt on. Which was EVERY SINGLE TIME. Anyway, Kristin blah, Coco blah, this scene is over, BLAH.