Head Cases

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Get Your Kicks On Route 666

Cut to Dean slamming a MasterCard issued to "Hector Aframian" down on the register at the town's motel. Should any of you kind folks wish to try your own hand at credit card fraud, it's number 5689 7719 4471 2356 with an expiration date of January 2008. Have fun! The ancient proprietor examines the name and grunts, "You guys having a reunion or something?" The boys are all, "Whaaaa?" "Another guy -- Burt Aframian," the ancient proprietor explains, "he came in and bought out a room for the whole month." Dean stares the ancient proprietor down for a moment before tossing his head in the gayest manner imaginable in Sam's direction.

Cut to the boys breaking into "Burt Aframian's" room, though God alone knows how they figured out which one it was. There's a jokey shot of Sam yanking Dean into the room from the front porch before we get a look at the room's contents. So far, I'm spotting an unmade bed, an unpacked suitcase, a Geiger counter, and hundreds of newspaper clippings and drawings taped to the walls. You know. The usual. Dean finds a moldy fast-food hamburger on the nightstand and determines that Dear Old Dad hasn't been there "in a couple days, at least." Sam notes a ring of salt on the floor, which along with the "cat's eye shells" makes him very, very tense regarding their father's safety. Dean stumbles across the wall his father devoted to the Centennial Highway victims and starts puzzling his way through their descriptions to find some sort of common link. Thank God law student Sam's there to spot something relevant on the wall opposite, because otherwise we might be here for weeks. Dean's not the sharpest pair of scissors in the drawer, is all I'm saying. Hell, he's not even as sharp as those enormous plastic things they gave you in kindergarten to gnaw through construction paper.

Sam scans various clippings until his eyes alight on a slip of paper that reads "Woman in White." Below it is Constance's "Suicide on Centennial" article from the Herald. Sam relays this information to his brother, who returns his attention to the Wall Of Death with a somewhat admiring, "You sly dogs!" Heh. Dean gets down to business, informing his brother that if they're dealing with a Woman in White, their father would have "found the corpse and destroyed it." Ew. After all those years? Ick. Sam's of the opinion that Constance might have "a different weakness" that resulted in their father's failure to vanquish her, or whatever. It's not really clear. Sam does believe they should interrogate her husband. We get a lingering shot of an eighteenth-century engraving of another presumed Woman in White before Dean orders Sam to scare up an address for Joseph Welch, while Dean himself showers. Before we get to see Jensen Ackles lather up, however, dreary Sam interrupts to apologize for those horrible things he said about their mother last night on the bridge. Dean raises his hand to shut his brother up once more and deadpans, "No chick-flick moments." Sam guhs, all, "All right. Jerk." Dean allows a slight smirk to tug at his mouth as he retorts, "Bitch." Snerk. Dean vanishes into the bathroom as Sam discovers an old photograph wedged into the mirror's frame. It's of a five-year-old Sam and an eleven-year-old Dean on some sort of preadolescent hunting trip with Dear Old Dad, and I have to say this: There is no way the two fugly little trolls in the picture grew up to be Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles. No. WAY.

Some time later, Sam retrieves his voice messages while Dean heads out to pick up some grub at the diner down the street. He's halfway across the motel's parking lot when he spies the ancient proprietor chatting with the local constabulary and pointing in his general direction. Dean whips out his cell and calls Sam's, leaving the terse message, "Dude. Five-oh. Take off." Sam bolts through some back window, or something, as Dean finds himself busted for his fake credit card and his fake federal ID. As the lead deputy from the bridge slams Dean onto the hood of his prowler, we're treated not to the shrieking strings, but rather to a set of blaring horns as we follow the camera down Dean's throat and into the commercial break.

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Head Cases

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