Hell on Wheels
Hell on Wheels

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: C+ | 683 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Gettin' Some

Reverend Cole tries to drum up some business outside the church, but nobody seems interested in what he's selling. He even offers up some eggs and coffee to go with his scriptures. People just keep walking past him. He sees Cullen in the distance and chases him down. In a friendly enough way, he asks, "Did the good Lord save you from hanging so you could drown yourself in whiskey?" Cullen is just barely staying upright, but he manages to say the word "proselytizing" with nary a slur. He tries to get away from the Reverend, but the guy just keeps after him. He's all, "My wickedness has been washed away by the blood of the lamb," and Cullen's scoffing like, "What do you know about wickedness?" Cullen didn't read the memo about everyone on the show having a past they regret. The Reverend brings up Bleeding Kansas. That gets Cullen to stop and listen. "I rode with the martyr John Brown," the Reverend says. "John Brown was a coldblooded killer," Cullen says. The Reverend calls him on his hypocrisy, then proceeds to tell him about the night they killed five slave-owners with broadswords. He says he was such a drunk that he had neglected to keep his sword sharp. "It was hard work, brother, but I kept a-hackin' and a-hackin until I couldn't hack no more." Cullen blinks at him for a second and asks, dumbfounded, "Well, why didn't you just shoot 'em?" Heh. The Reverend says it would have been too merciful. Plus, the swords looked cooler. Cullen tries to be all tough and unimpressed, but the Reverend persists. He offers Cullen forgiveness, even if he thinks he doesn't deserve it, because, as he says, "that's the beauty of grace." Cullen stumbles away a few steps and then decides to rub salt in the Reverend's wounds by mentioning that John Brown was hanged. He starts singing "I Wish I Was in Dixie" in an off-key warble until the Reverend finally gives up and heads back to the church.

Hell on Wheels

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