Hell on Wheels
Jamais Je Ne T'oublierai

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: C+ | Grade It Now!
Gettin' Some

The next morning dawns bright and blue and the train pulls into town with its load of black powder. The Swede and his men are there to greet it. Cullen is nowhere to be seen -- not because of his deal with the Swede, but because he's in bed with a roiling hangover. Elam barges into his tent, letting in the evil, evil sunlight. Cullen reaches for his gun, then calms down when he realizes he's not under attack. Elam tells him about the hill they're coming up on: "We either got to blow it or go around." Cullen's mumbled reply is to blow it, but Elam tells him his men have never handled black powder. Cullen, striving hard to maintain his reputation for having the worst ethic ever, doesn't think it's his problem. Elam tells him he's no better than Johnson. And really, he's probably worse, considering we actually saw Johnson doing some work. "How come every time I turn around, you're knee-deep in my bidness?" Cullen asks. (He really says it like that.) "Cuz you the boss," Elam reminds him. Cullen reaches into a bucket near his bed and splashes what I hope is water onto his face. "I ain't your master," Cullen says. "You wanted freedom, you got it. Figure it out your damn self." Elam makes a mental note to punch him in the balls one of these days.

Mickey and his awful yellow suit are looking much happier this morning. Naturally, this fills Sean with dread. He frowns with an equal mix of confusion and fear as his brother leads a group of men toward the bathhouse. Mickey's big monkey-making idea is to charge the men for a peep at the ladies as they wash up. I'm confused as to why they need Mickey for any of this, since all he does is lift up a bit of curtain, which even the dumbest of horndogs could do for himself for free. Plus, the ladies aren't even naked. They're sitting around in their corsets and bloomers, which they do out in public most of the time anyway. Nonetheless, as soon as the ladies realize men are getting free erections, they shut the operation down. A very buxom lady beats them all away with a broom, calling Mickey a "thick Irish bog-trotter" when he's dumb enough to ask for a kiss. Weren't the Irish Bog-Trotters a basketball team?

In Doc's train car, Lily is snooping around his desk, looking through papers and maps. She sees Doc coming up to the door and abandons her search, plastering on a big smile. Doc apologizes for his behavior the night before. He's as awkward as a teen-aged boy and clearly smitten with her. Lily asks to see more of his railroad. "After all, your passion for this great enterprise was an inspiration." She blinks prettily at him and he all but offers to carry her on his back for the whole tour. Before they can continue, an explosion rocks the train and shatters a window. Lily ducks.

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Hell on Wheels




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