Hell's Kitchen
10 Chefs Compete

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Burn After Feeding

I just realized that the warnings at the beginning of Hell's Kitchen include one for "sexual situations." Someone please keep an eye on Barrett and the Wellingtons, please.

Oh, right, ANOTHER CLIFFHANGER. That certainly isn't diluted from overuse! Ramsay sends Cyndi back in line after she promises she's not on the decline. Then Ramsay asks the Blue team to rate Zach's performance, and the answers are either two or three. Ramsay gives him ten seconds to defend himself, and Zach babbles about passion. Barrett gets the same ten seconds, and Barrett kisses Ramsay's ass, but it's not good enough: Ramsay sends him home anyway (so never mind about the Wellingtons, I suppose). And now Zach is pissed at his teammates for crossing him, and is promising to even piss on any of them if they're on fire. It's not the Blue team anymore, but Team Zach. It's a team where everyone is yelling all the time for some reason! Ray doesn't care that Zach's pissed, but Ray's too busy sorting out his pills into his little compartments anyway.

Meanwhile in Red, Susan has a pimple. The good news is that we don't spend very much time on this before moving on to tomorrow morning, when the cheftestants reconvene in the dinning room, where a curtained-off area reveals Jean-Philippe in a glass booth, papers swirling around him. These are papers with ingredients, and a chef from each team needs to pull them out. It's a time-waster, notable only because Nedra notes that she should have gone and could have pinned every friggin' piece of paper in there against the glass with her massive breasts. Ah, there's your "sexual situations"! Anthony's breasts aren't huge either, but he manages to pull some ingredients out of the booth.

The teams get to cooking based on the ingredients -- presentation is also important -- pulled by their representatives, while Ramsay reminds them that he might not even taste a dish if it's not "visually stunning."

The dishes are plated, and then Ramsay announces that helping him judge is a senior writer for People magazine, and its long history of culinary criticism. Well, Jennifer Garcia, are these dishes going to make the 50 Most Beautiful list? Ramsay announces they'll only be tasting the three most visually stunning dishes. Not only that, the chef with the best dish from the winning team will be featured in the magazine itself.

Let the superficial judging begin! Nedra, why'd you stuff the salmon? Susan, why didn't you slice your meat? In the end, Ja'Nel, Mary and Cyndi represent Red, while Anthony, Zach and Jon step up for Blue. Michael's quail doesn't look appetizing, and Ray's lobster looks like something out of a sci-fi movie. And a low-budget one at that.

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Hell's Kitchen

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