Hell's Kitchen

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: A | Grade It Now!
Death of a Blowhard

After the first part of tonight's double episode ends, we start in on number two, and you know the thing in the beginning of the show where the intense voiceover guy says "Viewer Discretion... is advised"? I just noticed that it claims this show has "suggestive language." No it doesn't! It has filthy sailor talk. Suggestive language sounds like Regency-era ribaldry and the occasional saucy double entendre. It's not just a cavalcade of [bleep]s.

Although if Gordon Ramsay ever does a one-man show on Broadway, he should totally call it "Cavalcade of [Bleep]s".

Gordon Ramsay's Bleep-O-Fucking-Meter: 27
Contestants' Bleep-O-Fucking-Meter: 51
Most Relevant South Park Quote: "That's Scott. He's a dick!"

The chefs go back upstairs and Nilka immediately starts hurling [bleep]s at everyone. I was under the impression that it was Fran who made the decision to nominate her, but Nilka has decided she hates everyone: "[Bleep] y'all! And I mean that from the bottom of my ass." When Fran makes the mistake of walking into the same room as Nilka, Nilka explodes at her again. Fran claims to feel bad.

The next morning, I learn that the spot where the chefs are lined up in the dining room to get their morning challenge is called the "roll call." They couldn't have mentioned that a few seasons ago? Well, fine. It's time for roll call. And during roll call, Gordon Ramsay would like to quiz the chefs on some cooking basics. Jay! Name a mother sauce! Hollandaise is correct. Nilka! Tomato is also acceptable. Autumn? Bechamel, yes. Holli? Velouté. Good. And Scott rounds it out with demi-glace. Great. If any of them had missed one, they would probably have been sent home.

Anyway, the challenge is for each team to prepare five dishes to represent the five mother sauces. And to make it more complicated, each team gets twenty ingredients, each of which must be used exactly once.

There is some planning. The sauces are already made, which should save some time. Jay tells Salvatore to make pasta with the tomato sauce because he's so very Italian. The blue team appears to be working together, but the red team has a problem with Nilka, who's not listening to anyone. She just takes all the ingredients she wants and walks away to her own corner of the kitchen. Chef Ramsay finally makes the red team make their choices and get to work.

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Hell's Kitchen




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