Hell's Kitchen

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: B | Grade It Now!
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Bringing the Cheesecake

Are you serious? Another two-hour chunk? Boy, if I didn't know better, I would think Fox was desperately burning these shows off as quickly as possible.

Gordon Ramsay's Bleep-O-Fucking-Meter: 43
Contestants' Bleep-O-Fucking-Meter: 41
Alternate Title for This Episode: Blood Sausage Catastrophe

Okay, let's get going. As you remember, Autumn and Scott swapped teams, which Gordon is going to pretend is because their teams hate them. I'm not sure how true that is, but I guess a couple of the women have said they're sick of Autumn. And Scott is all up in everyone's grill (cooking reference!) all the time.

After everyone files out of the dining room, Fran looks for Autumn to give her a goodbye hug (that feud didn't go anywhere at all!), but she's already with her blue-clad buddies. Fran appears to be a little hurt. Scott makes noises about being a team player.

The next morning, the sous chefs invade the dorms with butcher outfits for everyone, complete with sassy neckerchiefs. Everyone figures they'll be butchering or slaughtering, and Holli interviews that if you eat meat, you should be willing to kill what you eat.

Out in the parking lot, Gordon is standing in a pig pen, surrounded by happy capering pigs. He sharpens his knives while everyone looks nervous. But it's a swerve; he's not really going to make them kill and butcher pigs. Although on one season of The F-Word (where you can see an entirely different side of Gordon Ramsay), he raised, slaughtered, butchered and served pigs. They're not doing that this time. Instead, the chefs will be let loose in the pigpen, where they will grab at pigs, which are wearing collars with ingredient names on them. Each team will grab three main cuts (all pig-based, to vaguely justify the pigs) and three side dishes.

So then it's messy and noisy for awhile. It doesn't have a lot to do with cooking in a restaurant, if you ask me. Nilka goes first and takes forever to get a pig. And when she does, it's blood sausage. Gordon has a big laugh at everyone. When everyone has their dishes, the teams split up to decide how to pair things up. So each team will make three dishes, each consisting of a pork-based main dish and a weirdo side. I'm not sure I'm into Blood Sausage and Prunes, to be honest.

For some reason, we see some chefs in their underwear before we cut to the kitchen. I realize they had to change clothes, but that seemed unnecessary. The cooking, however, begins. In spite of Scott's claims that he'll be sitting back, he orders at least half the team around. Even Gordon gets annoyed with him, although I recognize that that isn't very hard. On the blue side, no one will tell Autumn where the tasting spoons are. That's pretty lame drama.

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Hell's Kitchen

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