Hell's Kitchen

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B | Grade It Now!
Fire in the (A-)Hole

Ramsay kicks aside Joseph's apron aside and says it's a shame. Back to the business at hand. We still have to eliminate one contestant. The nominees: Lovely, Tenille, Tony and Andy. Both of the men failed at their respective entrée stations (fish and meat). Ramsay asks "Dumbo" Lovely why she failed. She foregoes answering his question, spitting out some nonsense about her drive, passion, and strength. Tenille admits she messed up a single shrimp but otherwise insists she is a good chef. Andy tries to justify his chicken nugget disaster by saying he has the potential in him to be great. Tony says, and I quote, "I love to make things taste... uh... really good." Well then! Ramsay drops his head and massages his temples in frustration before announcing that Tony will be the one to go. I guess his passionate plea just wasn't enough. Who woulda thunk? Tony makes a graceful-ish exit... until he claims he has "the palate of a god." See! That's what he should have said a few seconds ago.

Ramsay reassigns Robert to the men's team and bids everyone good night. The contestants can barely contain their excitement titters as they go back to the dorm and marvel at Joseph's tornado of rage-sanity. They also discuss the change-up with Robert and the men perpetuate this nonsensical farce that he's a talented chef with drive and ambition, who will help their team instead of just being himself -- a useless lump. Robert also says that he doesn't care whether he's "on the Red Team, the Blue Team, the Black Team, the Pink Team... the team with no shirts on." And I don't even think I need to write the joke one for that one. Plus I couldn't if I wanted to because I'm too busy dry-heaving.

Just as the contestants settle into their REM cycles, a fire alarm sounds, and everyone must run downstairs, where firemen are congregating. Ramsay quickly informs them it was only a drill. Andy says that "Hell's Kitchen is like this really cruel joke that your friends are playing on you." I sometimes feel that way, too, Andy. Ramsay introduces the next challenge by noting how much preparation and teamwork the firefighters behind him demonstrate -- as opposed to the numbskulls in front of him. As such, the teams will be serving a fresh pasta meal (chicken Alfredo, meatball marinara, and a garlic bread appetizer) to the brigade of ravenous firefighters. The team wins that feeds its side of the dining room first.

Everyone on the Red Team recognizes that they need this win like a fat kid needs cake. (Yeah, I dragged that one out of the vaults.) Announcer man reminds us that teamwork is paramount in this challenge. As the ladies begin their service, it quickly becomes clearly that Lovely is not going to be the VIP today (or any day). Her need to pee and brush her teeth is really messing with her garlic bread-making abilities. She stumbles, disoriented and mutters a bit. It's not promising. Doing the same, pretty much, over in the men's kitchen is Andy, who is also tasked with making garlic bread. He miffs his teammates and Ramsay by not using all the ovens to expedite the service.

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Hell's Kitchen




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