So it's down to the roast chicken: Elise and Elizabeth come up with roasted chicken with butternut squash puree as well as swiss chard sautéed with sweated onions and garlic. The guests love it, and Ramsay asks whose idea it was. Elise says it was hers, prompting a whispered, "That's bullshit," from Elizabeth to her teammates in the kitchen. "You don't like sharing, do you?" Ramsay asks Elise, who answers affirmatively.

Natalie and Chino have a roasted chicken curry coconut soup, and the judges praise it too, so they need to have a discussion to decide who wins. "We have to win this one," says Elise, because she's sick of punishments.

After the commercial break, Ramsay announces that Red Team won -- not really a surprise -- and that the women are going to be spending the day go-karting, which really gets them all excited. Further, Elizabeth and Elise's dish is judged the best, so they're doing the People magazine thing. "I cannot believe that we are going to be in a magazine! This is everything I wanted out of life," Elizabeth tells us, which makes me feel really sorry for Elizabeth. Also... you do know that you're on television right now, don't you?

The women scamper off, visions of go-karts revving in our heads. "This is the best day of our lives!" says Elise, who I'm pretty sure has a child.

As for Blue Team, they're ordered to produce eighty quarts of "stunning" chicken stock, and they're glumly working away when Red Team strolls back through the kitchen, having changed into their street clothes. Natalie in particular is peeved to have lost a challenge to a team that came up with raw fried chicken. Someone makes a joke about Elise not being able to fit her big head inside a helmet, a joke that's even funnier when a talking-head lets us see that Elise has her own name tattooed on her breast. Because of course she does.

So, of course the reality show has to do the cheesy shot of the women marching in line in their racing uniforms, helmets tucked at their sides. It's all the lamer because this isn't exactly Days of Thunder we're watching, here. Hell, it's not even Talladega Nights. We spend an exhausting amount of time checking in with most of the women to find out what they think of the goddamn go-karts and it's beyond boring, except maybe for when Elizabeth says she doesn't even know how to drive. "I'm from Manhattan, New York," she says, sounding just a little snotty, like driving is something only hillbillies need to do.