Hell's Kitchen
14 Chefs Compete

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: B- | Grade It Now!
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Cow Cow Boogie

We're told that the women are in "utter hell," and I just pray that wasn't "udder" hell. Meanwhile, the men are at Sunstone Winery, getting a tour. Back to the women, who are butchering the sides of beef. At this point, I would like to point out that the word "butchering" is frequently misused. Butchers, in fact, are amazingly precise and use incredibly sharp tools. A properly butchered steak is clean and neat. And delicious. However, when people say something was "butchered," they usually mean it was hacked at inexpertly. And that kind of bugs me.

Speaking of things that bug me: LA is complaining that she has blood on her apron. Yes, well, that's what the apron is there for.

At the steakhouse, the men are eating gigantic steaks while Gordon enthuses about how the steaks aren't trying to impress anyone. It's just simple food, prepared well. Back to the women, where Scott tells them to eat some beef tongue, kidneys, heart, and liver. He gives them some barf bags, which I'd hoped would be unnecessary.

Oh, but I hope wrong! Lacey says she won't be able to do it. Coi tells her to shut up and eat. LA interviews that she's one of those people who can't even hear someone else gagging without starting to gag herself. So we see Lacey throwing up into a bag. This means that LA throws up. Sitting to LA's right, Andrea throws up. The people who have not vomited start plugging their ears to not hear the uncomfortably wet sounds that are coming from Andrea. Andrea comes back to the table and gives a heartfelt speech about how awful and humiliating this is and how they all have to pull together as a team. It's a good visual, because all the gagging has resulted in tears running down her face. Coi interviews that she now wants to win for Andrea, who goes off to do more vomiting. It's a complete and total barf-o-rama.

When the men return to see the women still cutting up the beef, somebody shouts "Holy cow!" which is kind of obvious, but I'll allow it. Seth smugly interviews that "winners get rewards and losers play with meat." That would ring more true if you hadn't gotten seven out of eight wrong, Seth. Here's how I see it: Ben did most of the work identifying the cuts of meat, then Giovanni finished that off. Then the rest of you did nothing useful at all, until it was Ben's turn again, and he correctly placed all of the cuts. Ben and Giovanni won. The rest of you jokers came along for the ride. So shut it.

I do not believe he will really shut it.

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Hell's Kitchen

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