Welcome to part two of the Hell's Kitchen premiere, which is clearly just a second episode shown immediately after the first one! One way you can tell is this "Previously on Hell's Kitchen" segment, which I am absolutely not going to recap, having just now finished recapping that very episode.

Gordon Ramsay's Bleep-O-Fucking-Meter: 64
Contestants' Bleep-O-Fucking-Meter: 43
Bleeps I Missed Because There Were So Many: Probably about ten

Robert kicks things off by shouting "Fat guy wit' a dream is back!" I saw him in commercials for this season, but I was hoping it was reused footage or something. Actually, I already dislike a lot of this year's crop, so Robert might be one of my favorites at this point.

Dave moans a bit about Robert, and I just realized who Dave looks like. Rich Hall! Anyone? Sniglets? Aw, forget it. Robert is helpful to the red team because he knows most of the menu and when to use the convection oven and all that. I could see that being helpful.

To signify that the night is over, we get a nice big shot of a half-moon. Yes! My pleas have been answered!

The next morning, the chefs line up in the kitchen to get insulted by Chef Ramsay. When that's over, the challenge will involve shrimp. Each chef will behead, shell, and remove the [bleep] sac from shrimps "to Chef Ramsay's exacting specifications. Joseph is contemptuous, because this is something any entry-level chef can do. Well, let's get started. It sure would be a shock if it all came down to the final two chefs.

Lovely will be sitting out for the red team because there's one more person on that team. Chef Ramsay brings out a tub of shrimp, and then there's a pointless spot where more shrimp rain from the sky. And it's time to disassemble some shrimp!

Tennille is working on three at a time. Lovely counsels that the women take their time and is getting on Van's nerves. The men think the women don't know what they're doing, and vice versa. Time runs out. Look, it's hard to describe a bunch of people beheading shrimp, okay?

Sabrina is first, and she's got seven successful shrimp. Amanda has nine. Tek has seven and Ariel has six, so the red team is at 29. Tennille has never worked with whole prawns and appears to have missed the sacs on all but one. Robert makes fun of her glasses. Suzanne gets them up to forty. That's ten for Suzanne! Robert claims his shrimp are "mad clean" but has only four. That's 44 for the red team.

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