Hell's Kitchen
15 Chefs Compete

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Daniel: B | Grade It Now!
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God Bless the Children of the Feast

Will's still got his dink in a twist because never in his career has something like this happened, and all I can figure is that if his career is so amazing then he should go back to it, since he probably never jetted off to Palm Springs for the day as a result of his career either. "I do not want anybody that was not on our team originally on our team now," he says, but does not elaborate. If you weren't one of the randomly selected penis-havers assigned to the same team as me just a few days ago? DEAD TO ME.

Anyway, here's the challenge: the clowns come marching back in - "I don't do clowns," Will says (yeah, you don't do entrees yet, either) -- and behind them are fifty kids and babies and mommies (no daddies?) and the first team to feed their diners, starting with pasta and quesadillas, wins.

Jonathan gets a little teary-eyed because he misses his four babies (and -- well, I was going to make another meth lab joke here, but I won't). Once the quesadillas and pasta are out, then it's time to make fifty paninis for the women, using the naan bread.

The teams get to work, with Will offering his unique style of pep talk: "This is bullshit! Pick it up!" Elise is taking charge in the Red Kitchen.

The teams are neck-and-neck when Jamie burns a quesadilla, and she makes a skeptical Elizabeth deliver it to Ramsay anyway. He proceeds to turn the air blue, prompting one shocked mom to cover her child's pristine ears. Uh, it's Hell's Kitchen. That's on you, Mommy.

Natalie's coordinating things, and Jonathan gives her (to us) a lot of credit for getting everybody communicating. The kids are all served, and now the teams move on to feeding the women, but Carrie and Elise are bickering in the kitchen. To Carrie, Elise is a "little yip-yip dog" while to Elise, Carrie is a "chicken with her head cut off." Elise also seems to be wearing on some of the other members of Red Team too.

And then, with two tickets left for the Blue Team, they somehow manage to serve up a chicken panini with no chicken in it. They recover, though, and wind up winning with mere seconds to spare, and there is much rejoicing and hugging in the Blue Kitchen, with Will magnanimously welcoming Natalie over to their side, apparently forgiving her for having a vagina. "I really wanted to go to the Blue Team. I really did," whines Carrie. Will gives credit where credit is due, and calls Natalie a rock star.

Meanwhile, Elise is talking about how they need to figure out where the weak links are, and Jamie snaps at Carrie for wandering around like the littlest hobo and getting in people's way instead of just picking a station and sticking with it.

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Hell's Kitchen

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