Hell's Kitchen
15 Chefs Compete

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: B | Grade It Now!
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All About Scallops!

Gordon Ramsay's Bleep-O-Fucking-Meter: 30
Contestants' Bleep-O-Fucking-Meter: 26
Gordon Ramsay's Quote of the Night: "Un-shuckin'-believable!"

Previously: Chefs were chosen and talked a big game. It was "the best signature dish tasting ever". Giovanni was mean to Seth. Coi was mean to Lacey. Both of them kind of deserved it. Colleen messed up, and Wil was on Planet Cuckoo. Carol made her customers happy by giving them free wine; Giovanni did not. Seth and Wil were nominated, and Wil got sent home. Good bye, Wil, we hardly knew ye. I mean it. In a couple weeks, I'll be staring at you in the credits wondering who the heck you are.

As the chefs walk back to the dorms, J interviews that "J is upset that he has to spend another day with Seth". Oh, really? Third person? It's going to be like that, is it? Look, J, I like you. Your name is only one letter long, which means it's easy to type. But don't push me. The other men also don't seem happy about Seth being here. In contrast, Coi apologizes to Lacey for going off on her in the last episode. Then she and LA berate her some more, telling her that she has to do a better job. Lacey seems to think her lack of line experience is an acceptable excuse, but they don't seem to be buying it.

At 2:53 am, everyone goes to sleep. Then, at 5:49 am, a tiny marching band (two drummers and a guy on cymbals) wakes everyone up. Gordon is already in the parking lot, giving the Disappointed Father routine. There are two piles of trash bags, which he claims are full of the wasted food from last night. But they won't be digging through the trash, because coincidentally, two crates of scallops have arrived.

Both teams will open their crates and put all the scallops in the designated buckets. It appears that scallops arrive at restaurants in large wooden crates full of seawater and seaweed, which I did not know. Colleen falls into one, which seems like it would take a lot of effort on her part, what with the sides of the crate coming all the way up to her shoulders. The teams bring the scallops inside, and it's time for the challenge. LA interviews that she has no experience with scallops and didn't even know they came in shells. Neither did I, but then, I'm not the one who auditioned to be on a show where you have to impress a known Scallop Fancier like Gordon Ramsay.

Chef Ramsay demonstrates the fine art of scallop removal, which we're told will give the chefs a healthy respect for the food. Between this and Top Chef, it seems like there have been a lot of people disassembling seafood on my television this week. Because it's eight against seven, the women have to sit one out, and Chef Ramsay selects Andrea. Both teams do their thing, and Lacey interviews that it's gross. Well, I'm sure it is. We see Robert open a shell. Other people do too.

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Hell's Kitchen

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