Hell's Kitchen
15 Chefs Compete

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: B | Grade It Now!
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All About Scallops!

The next day, Lacey announces that she's ready to work. She's at least moving around and making noise, which is what a good kitchen looks and sounds like. Suddenly! Ji slides on the floor and clutches her leg. The medic puts her ankle on ice, and we go to commercial on a spreading pool of oil that forms the pitchfork. See, because she might have slipped on oil. I guess.

I like this '70s-style ad for Terminator and Dollhouse. Sleazy! And suspiciously similar to the fake trailers in Grindhouse!

Ji limps into the kitchen and Chef Ramsay rounds everyone up for a pep talk. For the very first time ("ever!"), there's a Raw Bar, which means everyone gets a raw oyster as they walk in the door. Huh. Enjoy! Chef Ramsay hopes this will buy extra time for the chefs, which isn't a bad idea. Paula is assigned the raw bar for the women, and Robert for the men. Paula did poorly on the Scallop Challenge (one out of five), so I guess that's not what Ramsay's basing this on. I think he just likes taking people out of the mix to see what the rest of the team does without them. Robert is not looking forward to squeezing through the tables.

Customers arrive and order scallop and lamb and so on. The women give a rousing "Yes, Chef!" to their first order. Jean-Philippe checks to see that Robert and Paula have everything at the raw bar, and points out that Robert is sweating. Robert notes that he's 400 pounds. Back at the women's side, Carol has burnt the garlic so her risotto is slow. When it shows up, Ramsay asks "What is that?" roughly five thousand times, because most of the risotto is stuck to the pan. Carol starts over. Andrea interviews that she's going to have to take control no matter who she works with. On the men's side, Chef Ramsay deems Charlie's risotto undercooked. Also, he says, "No cream in there, no mascarpone, no seasoning, more ham in there." Charlie's excuse is that he has never cooked a risotto before, and Gordon doesn't believe it, but he's not as theatrically disbelieving as I am. Ben is assigned to show Charlie how to do it.

Robert brings raw shellfish around to the tables and shows people his koi tattoo (which is on his forearm, luckily for all of us). People seem to like him. Now, back to the kitchens. Colleen's scallops are sitting in the pans even though they are cooked. This apparently makes her a "stupid cow". Because Lacey made the scallops last episode, she's brought over to show Colleen how to do it. Also, Gordon has not forgotten that Colleen is a cooking instructor with no training of her own. Gordon checks on Ji's ankle, but only as an excuse to claim that he has a headache. Well, a [bleep]ing headache, technically. I guess that's worse than a regular one.

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Hell's Kitchen

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