Hell's Kitchen
16 Chefs Compete

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Monty Ashley: A- | Grade It Now!
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Calm Down, and Let's Cook Some Carrots

Blue kitchen! Louie has some lamb, but it's kind of tattered and falling off the bone. Chef Ramsay calls everyone over to see a giant plate of poorly prepared lamb that Louie's apparently been ruining. Louie's thrown out of the kitchen and is told to get upstairs, pack his bags, and [bleep] off.

Louie shouts at us in an interview, bleeps a couple of times, and gets out. Bye, Louie!

Meanwhile, both kitchens get shut down. And it's time for a goofy twist. Gordon joins Robert in the dining room and asks him to come back to get a second chance "because you're a bloody talented cook." So I guess we're getting Robert back. Spiffing. Everyone else who left for medical reasons? Out of luck!

Later, the teams are lined up in the kitchen to be shouted at. Robert is in line with the blue team. Chef Ramsay claims he's never had a service like this, which I think means he just has a very short memory. He harasses a few chefs and is forced to pick the blue team as the winner on the strength of their "some" entrees served. The red team is told to come to a consensus for which two individuals will be nominated for elimination.

Back to the dorms! Everyone cooks. Melinda swears she wants to be here. Suzanne wants to "Send that bitch home." Lovely doesn't want to get put up for the chop just because she was on apps, which mostly failed. Tek accuses Melinda of being ditzy. The three general choices are Amanda, Melinda, and Lovely. Who will go?

Down in the dining room, Chef Ramsay asks the red team for their decision. Tennille puts up Melinda for struggling on appetizers and not having her head in the game. And after a commercial, the second nominee is Amanda, who thinks Lovely should have been up instead. Melinda, why should you stay? "I have passion for cooking." Amanda? "Because I can do better than that. I didn't get a chance to cook."

Melinda is sent home. She is disappointed, because she was "really looking forward to spending more time with Chef Ramsay." This isn't a dating show, Melinda. Go.

Also! Robert is going to the red team, not the blue team. Man, I hoped that shot in the commercials was a joke.

The end! But there's a new episode right now, and it's the most shocking Hell's Kitchen ever!

Monty has a Movie Novelization blog called Monty on Movie Novelizations: the hilarious novelization of Star Trek: The Motion Picture, but he hasn't updated it in a couple of weeks because he's reading a novelization of some silent movies. They're entertaining, but sloooow. You can email Monty at montykins@gmail.com if that's your idea of a good time.

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Hell's Kitchen

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