Ramsay calls it a Tale of Two Kitchens, and cavalcade of criticism starts, with the men nominating Brendan and Chino for elimination. Chino takes exception to Jonathon's nomination, since all Jonathon does is yell when Ramsay's around and then clam up the rest of the time. Jonathon tells him to go fuck himself, but Chino (correctly) points out that the women are winning because they've decided to suck it up and work together despite not all liking each other. Ramsay rubs his eyes while the bickering continues, and then just calls up Chino and Brendan to the front.

Brendan tells Ramsay that he's got heart and character, and wants BLT Steak, and he apologizes for lying. Chino admits that the experience has been humbling for him. He's here to learn, and maybe he's not as good as he thought he was, but he'll always get better. "Are you better than Brendan?" Ramsay asks him, and Chino can't say yes absolutely fast enough.

Not super surprisingly, Ramsay boots Brendan. "Don't hate the player, hate the game," says Brendan, after having given us ample reason to love the game and hate the player. He says he's going to lead another kitchen to greatness, and then he gives a shout-out to Carrie, saying he's her biggest fan. "Call me, all right?"

So Ramsay tells Chino to "get better, quickly," and then breaks the news to the women that since the men can't get their shit together, in the morning he's going to need a volunteer from the women to go to the men's team. Neither team is very enthused at this, and Monterray pipes up to tell Ramsay that he'd rather roll with the six he's got, and the other men voice their support. "Thank you for your thoughts. Let me tell you: you're striving for a reputation. I've got one, and you are not going to fucking ruin it," responds Ramsay.

Monterray's pissed about it, and Natalie thinks it's pretty ridiculous that the men can't put their dicks away for five minutes to realize they need help. "I am zen, and you can't penetrate me," says Chino, somewhat confusingly. He doesn't care what anybody thinks, or something.

"The only thing bigger than Brendan's ego are the lies that he tells, and I can't have that, in Hell's Kitchen," says Ramsay, who walks away, his eternal quest for culinary truth ready to rest up for the night.

Daniel is a writer in Newfoundland with a wife and a daughter. He's still wondering when Daredevil's going to show up. Follow him on Twitter (@DanMacEachern) or email him at danieljdaniel@gmail.com.