Hell's Kitchen
18 Chefs Compete

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Daniel: B- | 1 USERS: C
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Happy Anniversary, You Bunch of [Censored]

A super-serious voiceover tells us that over 100,000 chefs have tried out for Hell's Kitchen and over 10,000 customers have been served, some of whom didn't even get salmonella. There have been a hundred and thirty-two hopefuls who have walked through the doors for the privilege of being screamed at by Gordon Ramsay, and only an elite nine have tasted victory.

And now Ramsay is putting his reputation on the line because this is the tenth season, and that means we get lots of quick cuts and highlights that promise us loads of physical violence, because there's nothing we love more than watching sweaty people in a kitchen swearing at and pushing each other. "Get ready for a throwdown! Hoedown! No holds barred showdown! On the most intense season of Hell's Kitchen ever!" To emphasize the point, a hunk of meat on a grill explodes. Can't wait for next season! The eleventh season is the homicide season!

The Hell's Kitchen motorcade makes its way through the streets of Vegas, carrying Dana, 27, a chef instructor; Brian, 31, a personal chef (he's here to "fucking destroy people"). There's also Clemenza, 41, an executive chef. "I will do whatever it takes," he says, including giving up his arm or a leg. I hope he's talking about Hell's Kitchen and not diabetes.

Sous-chef Scott greets them all, and personal chef Briana, 32, tells us she thinks she already has a crush on him. Scott says he told Ramsay he'd shave his head to work with him, and Scott thinks this is a great way to test the new chefs' commitment. Sous-chef Andi brings in a barber chair, and saucier Danielle, 27, says this can't be happening, and she's also the first contestant we've seen not immediately dropping f-bombs.

Scott tells us he convinced Andi to make the same commitment -- sous-chef Justin, 29, thinks there's no way she's cutting her hair. Then, to everyone's surprise, it turns out Andi's wearing a wig and she's actually already bald underneath.

"Show of hands, first volunteer," says Scott. "He's staring right fucking at me," says Dana, 27, whose culinary position is "River Vale, NJ."

A couple of guys put up their hands, prompting the rest of them to do so, and some of the women do too. Scott points to a particularly be-follicled guy he calls "Shaggy" and beckons him over. Executive chef Patrick, 40, shoulder-length hair himself, expresses dismay at us that Scott's "taking the longhairs first." Given that everyone we've seen so far do interviews STILL HAS HAIR, this isn't as dramatic as they think it is.

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Hell's Kitchen

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