Hell's Kitchen
18 Chefs Compete

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B- | 1 USERS: C
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Happy Anniversary, You Bunch of [Censored]

Shaggy gets his hair buzzed, and Robyn, 31, is all, "Oh shit, this is really going to happen, we're all going to get our heads shaved!" Again, one can't help but notice that Robyn does not have a shaved head.

Scott asks who's next, and several people -- not all -- put their hands up. He selects a woman to come forward, and she does, not seeming too concerned about it. She probably realizes that hair grows back, after all. Buzz buzz buzz go the shears, and now she's fronting a Sinead O'Connor tribute act.

Danielle avoids eye contact and Scott picks her anyway. She comes to the chair but then shies away at the clippers, and that's when Ramsay strolls in on an upstairs balcony to demand what the fuck is going here. Why, it's just a contrived shock opening to your tenth season, Ramsay! Surely you were involved in coming up with this!

He orders Danielle back in line, and then as we watch her say, "Thank god! Thank god!" the on-screen graphic says this is Dana of River Vale. Dynamite job guys! Look, if the SHOW can't keep track of who's who, how the hell are WE supposed to?

Ramsay tells them to get into the kitchen and make him their signature dish. The chefs race to do so. "What the fuck happened to Andi?" asks Ramsay. Lord, I hope not everything's this scripted this season.

So the opening credits have a Vegas magician theme, which is vastly inferior to last year's pinball game. Who's up this year? Patrick. Briana. Barbie. Kimmie. Clemenza. Don. Roshni. Royce. Brian. Robyn. Dana. Guy. Justin. Tavon. Tiffany. Christina. Chris. Danielle. These are the people who have completely erased any memory of who competed last year. Except for that little one who was always yelling at everyone. Good ol' whatshername!

The chefs, divided into men and women, have forty-five minutes to cook their dishes. Brian's whistling, which seems to annoy Ramsay, despite Brian's assertions that Ramsay's going to like his personality.

Meanwhile, Danielle balks at stomping out a little fire with her new shoes, much to the un-impression of Kimmie, 27, who is from the Nutbush hood.

Once the dishes are prepared and plated and the chefs assembled, Ramsay lets them in on a little secret: the people who had their heads shaved weren't contestants at all but Scott's friends. And in much less of a surprise, it turns out Andi's hair is unharmed and is lying under a bald cap. Brian says Andi is sexy with or without hair, and he's not wrong.

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Hell's Kitchen

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